I'm Growing Weaker...

I hate missing workouts. This is Day 4. If I don’t get in the gym tomorrow morning, I’ll go from looking and feeling like a somewhat fit, decently built ex-athlete to Don Knotts on his death bed. I know what you're thinking: “If you only had a fraction of Don Knotts' talent.” Speaking of talent, what an All Star Game last night! As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I’m a sucker for the Mid-Summer Classic and last night’s affair was not going to be the one to get me off of them. 15 innings, teams running out of pitchers, guys getting thrown out at the plate. It was great. I was also rather proud of the way Russell Martin played. Had the NL won, he’d have been a possible choice for MVP. Instead it went to J.D. Screw. Can’t stand him for what he did to the Dodgers, but I must admit, I never really thought he was that good, anyway… until he left the Blue and came to Boston. What was hard to take for me about the game were two things:

1) POOR FREAKIN DAN UGGLA! I mean I really felt for the Marlins second baseman. He’s a fine ballplayer, but he played like his glove, his bat , his shoes and his legs were all made of lead. First, in the- what was it? The 10th or 11th? – he grounds weakly into a double play with Martin, the go ahead run, on 3rd. Then he goes right out and boots an eye-high can of corn to his right, allowing the AL to get the lead runner on. Then the very next guy hits a sharp grounder right to him. But he’s back on his heels like a frightened Little Leaguer or high school JV sub who forgot his cup and it goes right through his legs! By this time, he wants to be anywhere but the Bronx, but NL (and Rockies) Manager, Clint Hurdle is out of infielders, so he’s there for the duration. The duration, however, it appears, will be a short one because all the AL needs is a fly ball to the outfield and they win. SOMEHOW, miraculously, the next three guys – I think it was Sizemore, Longoria and Kinsler – all hit infield grounders - the first two right to right to drawn in infielders Uggla and Guzman, the third, a slow roller to short on which Miguel Tejada made an outstanding play to get the final out. I was so relieved that Uggla, in spite of striking out, like, 3 times, got a reprieve and did not wind up single handedly losing the game for the National League. Why was I so relieved? Well, first of all, a performance like that can ruin a career. I mean, he might never have been the same again after looking so horrible on such a large scale. Secondly, I felt for him because, to an extent, I’ve been in his position. I played middle infield much of my illustrious career. (I finally ended up playing more 3rd because there was less time to think and thinking was often my enemy) Sometimes, once I screwed up, instead of saying to myself, “Ok, Steve, no problem, you’ll make the next one,” I’d feel so bad and so anxious, I couldn’t shake it off in time to right the ship. I could actually make myself believe I couldn’t catch the ball and subconsciously will the ball out of my glove or, when hitting, will it right past my bat into the opposing catcher’s mitt. I once made myself miss a pop fly with the bases loaded – a play that, during practice, I would often make behind my back. Well, in those instances, once I made my first error the ball would just find me and mock me. One error would lead to another would lead to another. I wanted to dig a hole in short right field and bury myself alive amongst the worms and the maggots or have myself airlifted out by a hovering chopper or, better still, pulled up into the tractor beam of an abduction-minded UFO, never to be heard from again. Anyway, glad they got out of the inning. Hope Dan’s gets his mojo back. Jesus! I mean, his dad was there seeing his son play at Yankee Stadium for the first time. Very sad and embarrassing.

2) Why would it have mattered so much to Uggla if he blew the game? Because of the inanely stupid significance that’s been attached to it. We talked about it earlier. They’re doing it, but I just don’t see how. You can’t give the winning league in an exhibition game that has no bearing on the standings and isn’t played with winning as the main objective , home field advantage in the World Series. It’s RIDICULOUS! If you’re going to do that, you have to make sure that the best players play most of the game, you can’t substitute as freely, you can no longer worry whether or not every team is represented and whether every member of the team gets playing time. Also, it should be managed by the manager of the team who, at the All Star break, has the best chance of making it to the World Series. Not Clint Hurdle whose team sucks this year. Bud Selig, if you don’t think fans will watch the game if there’s no significance to the season, then you haven’t done your job promoting the game or baseball in general. It’s a gathering of many of baseball’s finest players and it’s thrilling to watch. And if you can’t promote it, then find someone who can, but the way you have it now is just so damn stupid. I mean, let’s say Uggla DID blow the game? The Marlins are good, but they’re not likely to go to the Fall Classic. So some guy on the Marlins ruins the Cubs chance of having home field advantage IN THE world Series? Fans at Wrigley Field lose their first opportunity ever to see a Game 7 in the Friendly Confines because of something a player on another NL team did in an exhibition game in July? Gimme a freakin’ break.

Maple Bats: These bats are shattering like toothpicks every game. Shards and barrels and chunks are flying across the field, barely missing player’s faces, balls and jugulars. Maple bat shrapnel is flying into the stands and several fans have been severely injured. Yet, according to the Times , Bud Selig and the players are all confused as to what to do. Hmmm… here’s an idea… STOP USING THEM! Sorry, Canadian maple industry, but unless you can find a way to balance them properly - make the handles thicker or anything to stop the carnage, there’s going to be a serious accident. I’m talking gruesome death, here. Do we really have to wait for that one accident to occur? Besides, is ash really that bad? I think Hank Aaron and his cohorts all used ash and I seem to recall they hit a few home runs with it. Ash splinters. It tends not to kill people unless you’re using it for that purpose, like the Mafia does from time to time. Truth is, players always have to look for the latest thing to give them an edge and I understand maple is it right now, It’s a little lighter and the ball jumps off it a little more, but it’s too dangerous. Fix it or find something else, but for heaven’s sake, do it now.

Back to the Dodgers tomorrow.