Smoke And Mirrors

As my nose slowly heals, as my bank account goes deeper into the red from network payment negligence, as my chest pains increase, as my life changes without immediately recognizable events, happenings or occurrences, the Dodgers remain a constant. Mediocrity to excellence is a difficult trick to pull off this time of year, and, with some sleight of hand, many of us, save the shrewd among us, were easily fooled. I wish I could say I was among that number – the shrewd, I mean, because I hate being wrong. But the Dodgers made a fool out of me, once again manipulating my hope, exploiting my shocking naivete, and turning it into abject stupidity. I am indeed ashamed for not recognizing that nothing has changed.

The McCourts are business peops and the business of the soon-to-be 3rd place Dodgers is to sell a myth. Has been for some time. Baseball America and many other publications named the Dodgers’ farm system the number one in the Majors a few years back. Worst thing that could’ve happened from the fans’ perspective. They liked the Billingsleys, the Martins, the Kemps, the Ethiers (Ethier was acquired from the Oakland organization in the Milton Bradley trade) the La Roches, the Broxtons and the Loneys. The scouts and analysts all believed that these guys would continue to develop both physically and mentally. That the hitters would begin to gain more pop, that the pitchers would emerge as fireballing aces. Why? Why this group of players? I’m not sure. Yes, the above mentioned players are all decent ballplayers, some better than others, and, their entire careers still in front of them, many still developing. But none of them will be superstars. None of them will become the player the scouts, analysts and Dodgers brass predicted.

Well… Billingsley has a shot, I guess. He’s actually improving more and more each year. He’s their ace now and I see no reason why he won’t continue to improve.

Kemp is a long shot. He has all the tools but he doesn’t hit for nearly enough power yet. That can still happen with his build, but not with his swing. The main problem is he’s a stupid player with poor instincts both at the plate and on the base paths and baseball intelligence, as I’ve said in the past, is hard to acquire. He needs to become more selective at the plate for longer than just a game or two. He also needs to hustle more than just part of the time or when he sees fit. He may become a solid player along the lines of a Brian Jordan, the ex Brave/Cardinal/Dodger and Atlanta Falcon safety. Or was he a cornerback? Maybe an All Star appearance or two. Reputation for having a strong arm. Couple of years with 25 or more home runs. Not the kind of impact player that leads teams to pennants. He’s no Manny in the making.

Ethier is a good, solid ballplayer. I like him. But compare him to Ryan Braun. No contest. Compare him to Nate McClouth for Pittsburgh, Carlos Quentin for the White Sox or Denard Span for Minnesota. No contest. He’s fine. He’ll never be a Jim Edmunds or a Lance Berkman. He’ll never have a consistent impact. Just won’t put up the numbers. Also swings at a lot of bad pitches and is very temperamental. Can he improve? Sure. But I doubt he'll be a star.

Russell Martin is okay. He’s fast for a catcher so that’s an added extra. He won’t hit for the power they expected. He’s not the defensive force they envisioned. He’s not the smart hitter they hoped he’d become. Can he still achieve these goals? Yeah, sure, he’s young. But… I doubt it. I think he’ll just be a solid offensive catcher with decent to mediocre defensive skills. His All Star appearance this year was based solely on his batting average at the time. He’s certainly no Geovanny Soto or Brian McCann or Joe Mauer... or Mike Piazza.

James Loney is a solid singles hitter. Slow. Not a lot of power. They say he’s going to hit the weights in the off season to try to hit more homers. He’s actually gotten worse since last year. Opposing pitchers have pretty much figured him out and, even though he’s still around .300 and leads the team with 72 RBIs (which still translates to well under 100 for the year. Not great for a middle of the lineup 1st baseman.) But he can’t hit lefties worth crap and he hits into an inordinate number of double plays. He has more strike outs with less pop. And it doesn’t look like he’s having an ounce of fun out there. In fact, he seems downright sullen. Why? He gets to play baseball for a living. I don’t like him as much as I did last year.

Jonathan Broxton stinks. He has the look, but not the mentality to be a closer and who knows when he’s going to develop that? 2012? He has good stuff but his command is extremely inconsistent. His fastball is blazing but he has trouble getting ahead of hitters. Sure he’s young, but how many times have you heard how good someone’s going to be and then, after a couple two or three years, you forget he ever existed?

Andy La Roche is gone. Good riddance. He’s currently hitting .149 in Pittsburgh.

Clayton Kershaw shows promise but he's extremely young and has a long way to go. Wouldn't be fair to judge him yet.

Joe Torre? He's a terrible manager for this team. He refuses to get on guys' butts and insist they get after it. Being the nice guy seems to be more imprtant to him than winning and young players need discipline.

So, these are the stuff our dreams are made on. Brought to you by the corporation that is Frank McCourt’s Los Angeles Dodgers in order to sell tickets and merchandise. “This is a return to the great Dodger tradition of home grown talent for the ‘60’s and ‘70’s.” “Watch as our amazing young players lead the Dodgers back to greatness” and hooey like that. The closest we’ve been to greatness this year is getting a dreadlocked Hall of Famer for the last two months of the season who’s probably gonna bolt as soon as the last pitch of the season is converted into an out. It’s a mediocre team. MicCourt has no real intention of making them a perennial winner. He's too cheap and manipulative. So, what do we have? I mean, finally, as August turns into September, what do we really have? We have a team that's better than the Dads this year, slightly better then San Fran, not as good as Colorado or the Dbacks. A team that's not quite as good as Houston or Atlanta. Much worse than the Cubs, Brewers, Cards, Phils, Marlins, and Mets. A nowhere team with nowhere talent and little hope for the future. But the McCourts will sell it because they’re rich business types and they have to. And we’ll buy it because Dodger fans refuse to see things the way they really are.

As I write this, Matt Kemp has just hit his 16th homer of the season off of Dan Haren and the Snakes - or should I say “Los D’backs” since that’s what’s on the front of their jerseys tonight. Must be Mexican Awareness night or something – and the Dodgers have taken a 5-1 lead. Well, as much as you try, you can’t lose every day. But give ‘em time. There are still a few innings left.

This Just In:

This Just In: The Dodgers suck more than anyone.

When a team has collectively called it quits, this is the way the final breaths are taken - proving to all that the minor league Nats are clearly the better team. If all goes as planned, they should lose big tonight to the Snakes. By weekends close, they should be either 61/2 or 41/2 out with 26 to play. I think it could be time to pull the plug. Joe Torre is a nice guy, but way too allowing. Juan Pierre should be platooning with Matt Kemp at this point and why Joe won't do it, I haven't the foggiest. Tomorrow's blog will be much more lush and full and lively. I promise.

Bring Back The Stink

Well, with their season over now, the Dodgers can start thinking about next year and how little they'll have to offer. So, one of the things they should consider is, since Ned Stupidity has signed The Stink to a 2 year, 36 million dollar deal, and no one in their right minds, even in the Northern Independent League would take him in a trade, they may as well bring him back up and get their money's worth. Sure, he stepped in a hole recently and allegedly reinjured his knee, but so what? He's been playing a little first base in Vegas and the news is, James Loney no longer feels like playing first base, or baseball at all, for that matter. I know, James. When we get a little older, like, say, 23, 24, we start slowing down and we lose our energy and attention span.

Or maybe The Stink can spell Matt Kemp in centerfield. After all, in the Dodgers 2-1 LOSS TO THE WASHINGTON NATIONALS last night, Kemp made it clear in his last at bat that it was more about him than the team. How, you ask? Well, after the Nats' numb nuts reliever - Rivera, I believe he was called - threw a strike to pinch hitter Mark Sweeney with one out with pinch runner Pablo Ozuna on first base in the 9th inning, he walked him on 4 straight pitches. So, up walks ol' Matt - boy, does he look like he's gonna be a great ballplayer or what? - and he takes the first 2 pitches which are no where near the strike zone. The count is 2-0, tying run on second, go ahead run, (Pierre running for Sweeney) on first, one out and the pitcher has just thrown six straight balls way out of the zone and obviously can't find the plate. Little Leaguers, what do we do in this situation? Anyone? ...Hold on, there are so many 9 year olds with their hands up... yes, the little girl in the back row? ... What's that? A little louder so everyone can hear... that's right! "In that situation, you don't swing until the pitcher throws you a strike." Very good, young lady! Well, the next pitch to Matt was way up and in and... he swung and fouled it off. Ah, youth. What a cute kid that Matt Kemp is. Okay, so now the count is 2-1. The next pitch is waaaaayy outside for ball 3. The count is 3-1 and Rivera still hasn't thrown a strike in his last 8 pitches, so if you're Kemp, you're thinking... "hmmm... the game is on the line, the season is on the line, it's gotta be right over the plate if I'm gonna even THINK about swinging." Next pitch, way low and in and... HE SWINGS! Why? Because he simply doesn't know how to play baseball. 3-2 count, he then flies out weakly to center and instead of the Blue having the bases juiced with Ethier up with only one out, they have runners on 1st and 2nd with 2 outs and they lose. (Ethier would've grounded into a DP anyway because that's the Dodgers' new favorite pastime) If Joe Torre actually allows Kemp to start tonight over Juan Pierre after that at bat, I'd be shocked and disappointed. And I know I'll be shocked and disappointed because loveable Joe has no backbone.

Or maybe The Stink can come back and play instead of Ethier, since Ethier's day in the sun lasted exactly one week before he returned to abject medicority. Who knows? Maybe the Stink could even play shortstop. What a silly notion, I know. But Nomar is so awful, I'm actually hoping he gets a little tweaked again. Nothing too painful, just something - anything - to get him back out the lineup. After all, how many ground outs and tailor-made double plays to the third baseman can we expect to endure? At least when The Stink strikes out most of the time, he'll just be causing one out instead of two.

Maybe The Stink can play 2nd base, since Jeff Kent apparently retired over the weekend. Funny thing about some retirees. They just can't seem to keep making the road trips, putting on the uniform, taking their positions in the field and their turns at bat. I know The Stink can't play 2nd base, but neither can Kent, so what's the difference? In a senior moment the game before last, he allowed the Phillies' Jayson Werth to score form second on a routine grounder to second. Early onset Alzheimers? No, just not really playing anymore. Ya see, he's retried.

I think the Dodgers should not consider replacing 3rd baseman Casey Blake with The Stink because Ned Stupidity went to a lot of trouble to acquire the .240, no intensity, no power, no clue hitter from the Tribe and he did have 3 solid weeks. They say he's streaky. So are my toilet paper and my underwear at times. Like Loney, Martin, and Nomar, Blake loves to ground into DPs. Makes the games quicker so we don't have to listen to Steiner as long.

The next question is, can The Stink get behind the dish? Come on, now. That's ridiculous. Besides, we already have a great catcher coming up in Carlos Santana. He was named California Legaue Player of the... what? Oh yeah. Sorry. Forgot. We traded him to Cleveland for Blake. Nope, doesn't matter. Russell Martin is our man. He's really not that great, but, for some reason, he's our man. Ya know, his dad is a street musician from Montreal, don't you? Makes for a great story. Too bad the horn player's son is so tired and listless. Maybe he should blow Reveille and wake his ass up. Don't we have a back up catcher? (Note to self: Try not to use "we" anymore when referring to the Dodgers. It's embarrassing.)

Larry Bowa, the only one in the clubhouse who cares and also has a pulse, gave the team quite a tongue lashing the other day. Had no effect, apparently. Thanks for trying, Larry. If you want to go elsewhere, we totally understand. You'd be great in Anaheim. Or maybe you can manage the Nationals. Their young manager, Manny Acta, is as lively as a mannequin in a store window. They'd probably listen to you and actually improve. I mean, after all, they don't get to play the Dodgers every day.

Let's Roll Two! We just want to get the season over with.

Ball Five!

Remember when we were kids in late August and a bunch of us would decide to all go down to the park and play ball? We’d grab our bats and gloves, a helmet, maybe, a few balls and, with the best intentions, we’d grab an open diamond, pick teams and start playing. There was nothing like it. We couldn’t wait to hit, to make a great play or an amazing throw. We’d play a few innings or a couple of hours, running hard, throwing hard, swinging hard, trying hard… but then… maybe some girls we knew would walk by. Or maybe some other friends rode by on their bikes and they were on their way to do something else that sounded like fun. Sometimes, around late August, some guy would have a football and that would do the trick. By August, most of my friends were done with baseball and ready to move onto the ol’ pigskin. Or maybe they just got bored. But whatever it was that caused my friends to lose interest, (I never lost interest when I was playing baseball. Not once) they lost interest. The game was played with less and less intensity and purpose. A few of us wished the game would end soon. Guys would start leaving. For all intents and purposes the game was over. Baseball was over for us until next February.

Hmmm… what can I be getting at with that story? Yes, my friends. The Dodgers have simply lost interest. They play with no focus, no desire, no intensity. They just want the season to end, and for them, it already has. Maybe Matt Kemp wants to play hoops or a little football. (If he plays receiver, keep him out of that sun field) Maybe Nomar wants to hang with his newborn and his ex-soccer wifey. By virtue of his performance tonight, Jeff Kent may have already retired. Loney just looks tired. His bat is slow and it’s too much trouble for him to go up there and not swing at everything. Go to sleep, James. …James? James? Oh, he’s already asleep. Russell’s lost what little power he has and is getting lazy behind the plate. Casey Blake has already gone back to Iowa. Ethier is too ethereal after winning the starting job following one good week. Manny is simply playing out the last 5 weeks with a smile on his face. Doesn’t care what happens. Won’t be a Dodger next year. Broxton is tired of throwing balls in the strike zone. Park is tired. Even Billingsley has lost a yard off his fastball. And what about Joe Torre? Last night Andre Ethier earned a walk on 5 BALLS!!!! As I watched the game and watched ball 4 go by and didn’t see the ump signal a walk, I don’t know, call me crazy, but I sort of expected to see the Dodger manager come out of the dugout and argue. Everyone in the stadium knew it was ball 4, including Steiner and Lyons and everyone at Fox Prime Ticket. Okay, so he walked anyway, but don’t you even care, Joe? Don’t you care enough to come out of the dugout and tell the ump how many balls and strikes there are in the count and that your hitter should be awarded first base? Or were you not paying attention either? In either case, you come out looking BAD.

The Phillies? Well, thank god for the mediocre, milquetoast Dodgers. Ya lose 4 in a row to them at the Ravine, ya get ‘em all back at the Bank. The Phillies are a much different team than the Blue. They play with intensity, drive, and a sense of vengeance. Playoffs or not this year, they’re a winner. The Dodgers play with nothing. This 4 game sweep of the Dodgers by Philadelphia is the worst performance from a Dodger team I’ve seen since 1993. They were horrendous. Jeff Kent's performance tonight at the plate could be one of the 5 worst performances I've ever seen from a Dodger 3 hole hitter. Maybe he's just trying to prove he's not getting better because he's hitting in front of Manny. But let’s look at the team realistically one more time: The Phillies, in Utley, Burrell and Howard, have 3 guys with 95 home runs. Between Kemp, Ethier, Loney, Martin and Kent, there are a grand total of 64 home runs. That’s right. 64. Jeff Kent, your number 3 hitter in front of Manny has… here it is… 11 home runs. His home runs go to 11. That’s it. 11. As I’ve said time and time again, you can’t win without impact players and Manny is the only impact player on the team. Who wants to argue Matt Kemp is an impact player? Come on, I know that’s what a lot of you are thinking, so who wants to argue? Matt Kemp is NOT an impact player. He has 15 measly home runs on August 26th. He has fewer than 70 RBI’s on August 26th. He leads the team in strikeouts and has blown game after game with stupid mistake. A good player? Perhaps. An impact player? No way. Not yet. Russell Martin? Please. He’s a singles hitter with poor plate discipline who can’t control his emotions in tight situations, and is very middle of the road, if not weak, defensively. You see, Dodger fans, late August and September are when teams tell us who they are, both on an individual basis and as a team. This is who the Dodgers are. About a game below .500, no heart, no focus, no discipline, no speed, lots of DP’s, little power, inconsistent starting pitching with a mediocre bullpen and no closer and a manager who’s the nicest guy in the world but who doesn’t challenge the team at all. Ball Five.

By the way, not only do we have to endure the torture of watching the Dodgers "play" and I use that term loosely, we have to endure the virtual waterboarding that is Charlie Steiner. Charlie Steiner let another oral bowel movement out tonight. Phils 3rd baseman, Jose Feliz came up and Steiner said, "Feliz Navidad!" That's great, Charlie. Keep 'em coming, you idiot. Meanwhile, Steve Lyons, keep drawing those diagrams that explain AND EXCUSE why the Dodgers swung and missed at the latest bad pitch. Gimme a break, already.

You miss the Dodger way of playing ball? You miss the old Dodgers? Hustle, discipline, focus, swagger, pitching, defense, timely hitting? Go down the 5 freeway to a place called Anaheim. It’s worth the drive and guess what? They’re on TV too. Am I a front runner? No, just bored.

On Second Thought... Naaaaah.

Stayed up last night to watch the USA Men’s basketball team blow out Spain and was very disappointed in what I saw. It was actually exciting and it shouldn’t have been. I saw a complacent U.S. team that refused to play defense and get guys under the basket. They knew they could win easily by just getting inside, yet they chose to go the lazy route and miss 3 pointers with shocking regularity in the 2nd half. The Spanish team had better hands much of the time. Whenever there was a struggle for the ball, the Spaniards seemed to prevail. The U.S missed fast break opportunity after fast break opportunity with missed lay ups, stupid fouls and turnovers. They had chance after chance to run away with the game and they kept letting Spain back into it. They couldn’t stop this Navarro kid to save their lives. Come on. He’s a little Spanish dude who can’t even play in the NBA. In spite of the Gasol brothers and Calderon, who was unable to play, Espana had no business being on the same court with the likes of Kobe, Le Bron, Duane Wade, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul, and the other NBA greats. But if Kobe hadn’t taken over in the 4th quarter, I think the U.S. would actually be coming home with silver. Redeem team? Not so much in my book. Yeah, they got the Gold, but they should’ve done it going away. It was a pins and needles game up until a minute left. We had a great team, so there are no excuses, but just out of curiosity, where were Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Tim Duncan, Tracy McGrady and Baron Davis? Did these guys not make the team? Were they not asked to play? Or did they just choose not to play?

Speaking of complacent, the Dodgers season appears to be going gently, once again, into that good night, and, by virtue of their lack of focus and pitch selection, they don’t seem to care. Now 3 games back of the Snakes, one must wonder how they could possibly compete if Dbacks 5th starter, Yismeiro Petit is shutting down good hitting teams like the Marlins. Matt Kemp can’t seem to find the handle on his game and it really is killing the Dodgers. His losing a routine fly ball in the sun yesterday leading to 3 more Philly runs was inexcusable. Sure, guys lose balls in the sun all the time, but it seems to happen to Kemp with alarming frequency. I mean, did you see the play? He had no idea where it was, as if he never even saw it leave the bat! That’s horrible. And where were Ethier and Ramirez? Why couldn’t they recognize what was happening and back him up? Focus. How many times do I have to say it? Focus. But forget about Kemp’s lameness in all things mental. The Dodgers lost the game when Clayton Kershaw nailed Jimmy Rollins in the first at bat of the bottom of the first inning. You could just tell there was no way Kershaw was going to be effective and he stunk so much, even I could smell him and I haven’t been able to smell or taste or breathe out of this nose for almost a month. The real reason for the loss? Kemp’s at bats in the lead off spot. Terrible. Didn’t reach base once. Ethier’s at bats in the 2 hole. Awful. Didn’t reach base once. Kent’s at bats in the 3 hole. Pitiful. Didn’t reach base once. So, if the guys in front of him are 0 for 12, how is Manny gonna get a chance to drive in any runs? Sorry to say this, but you can’t win without a leadoff hitter and they have no leadoff hitter in Matt Kemp, so guess what? Juan Pierre must play and he must lead off. So, at this point in the season who would you platoon? This might sound crazy, but I would platoon Kemp and Ethier in right field. For a few games last week, they were both playing great at the same time, but it’s been more of a rarity than the norm. Neither player is as consistent as Pierre in terms of making things happen on the base paths. In order for Manny to be effective, you have to play the guys who are going to get on base and make things happen.

At this point, it’s probably moot. They’re not going to come back from a 3 game deficit the way they’re playing. I can almost promise you, they’ll lose tonight as well. That’s because the Phillies are a very good team and they’re actually playing like they have something to play for while the Dodgers look like they’re just playing out the schedule. Odd, since they were in a pennant race.

Nomar and Casey Blake are becoming more and more of a disappointment. Nomar just stinks. It’s reach down and pull, reach down and pull, lunge and pull, every swing. I’m so tired of seeing him letting pitchers off the hook by grounding out or flying out on their first pitch, I’d rather see Berroa up there flailing like a Little Leaguer and striking out. At least that’s a guaranteed three pitches. And Casey Blake. Wow. I’ve heard of slumps, but he’s in a tail spin. I can’t remember seeing him drive one ball to the right side of the field. Straight pull all the way, all the time and strikeouts through the wazoo. Isn’t there anyone in the dugout – Torre, Bowa, Mattingly, Manny, anyone – who can say “Hey, guys. We have to work deeper into counts, we gotta go to the opposite field, we have got to stop letting pitchers off the hook and we have to get guys on base, otherwise, we won’t be playing in October.” In spite of Martin’s 12th HR yesterday (big whoop, it’s the end of August) more and more, I’m beginning to think maybe trading young catcher Carlos Santana to Cleveland for Blake wasn’t such a hot idea. As I mentioned in an earlier posting, Martin’s really not as great as everyone says he is. As far as the Dodgers in general… nope. This team just doesn’t have it. Even with Manny, they don’t have enough pop, talent or heart and the pitching, starting and bullpen, is too inconsistent. They won’t get it done.

Want to see how you get it done? Watch Chase Utley play second base tonight for the Phils. Watch how he focuses, runs out every grounder no matter how small a chance he has of being safe, takes smart at bats, knows who the runners are, knows where the freakin’ ball is at all times. That’s how you play the game. I think Matt Kemp should just sit down and watch him.

Nose Dive

Don’t break your nose. And if you do, and it doesn’t look like you’re a prize fighter from the 40's whose last name is Wysocki or Polanski afterwards, don’t bother getting it repaired. It hurts like a mofo. As for me, I couldn’t breathe out of it anymore, so that’s my excuse for being in the discomfort I’m in now. Having broken my nose a few times, I never thought a nose can cause this much pain, but I’m on Day 3 of post-op Vicodin and my eyes look like that of a panda’s.

What hurts almost as much as my nose is being a Dodger fan. They looked awful in their victory over Colorado on Thursday, barely touching Jorge De la Rosa, one of the worst starting pitchers in the Majors, in my opinion. They were lucky to pull out a victory in that one, but in yesterday’s opener in the band box that is Citizens Bank Park in Philly, they lost before they even took the field. They just looked listless and casual, like the Dodgers so often look this time of year, even with Manny, Blake and Maddux. Maybe it’s the uniforms, but it seems no matter who wears it, they eventually become complacent and stop hitting. I was wrong. I thought the Dodgers may have the talent now to run away with this thing, but they’re just not hungry enough. Charlie Steiner, who we all know I revere like I revere the silicone rods currently taking up residence in my nostrils, mentioned before the game that, following an upset to the awful Nats, (every loss to Washington is an upset) the Phillies were an angry team and they might just take it out on the Dodgers. Well, they sure as hell did. They made Greg Maddux look more like the patient than the doctor, a horrendous “Debut Part II.” You may remember that in the Dodger’s playoff drive in ’06, they acquired Maddux before the July 31st non-waiver deadline and he pitched 6 scoreless innings in his debut. They decided not to pursue a contract for Greg after the ‘06 season (a mistake). Well, the second time around, he was as hittable as I’ve ever seen him and Torre took way too long getting him off the bump and back in the safety of the dugout. My question is this: When were the Dodgers ever an angry team? What does it take to get that uniform pissed off enough to want to go out and destroy someone and maybe win a pennant along the way? No, for that traditional blue and white uniform with the red numbers, complacency is king. Everyone, with the exception of Loney yesterday against philly, has just stopped hitting. And recently, Loney wasn't hitting much either and still isn't doing much against lefties. Casey Blake, Nomar and Russell Martin are officially terrible. That’s a 3rd of their lineup right there. They have got to stop swinging at first pitched and work the counts but it’s as if they seem to refuse. As if they want to let the opposing pitcher off the hook.

They got lucky that the Snakes dropped a tough one to the Fish but today the Blue are going against Cole Hamels, the Phils’ace and, even with the young and, lately, effective Kershaw going, I don’t like their chances. I don’t have the numbers in front of me, but the Dodgers stink in day games this year. Torre finally came out and said, for anyone to take them seriously, they have to get to at least 10 games over .500. Well, thanks for that, Joe, but they haven’t been more than 5 games over .500 at any point this season. Bottom line is, they’re just not that good a team. They need more power directly in front of and behind Manny and their plate discipline sucks ass. Now their fielding has gone South. Leaky boat. At 2 games behind the Dbacks, they’re no better off in the standings than they were the day they got Manny and 3 weeks have passed. Time is running thin and if they fall to 3 back today or tomorrow, that could be it as far as I’m concerned. With the great Brandon Webb and Dan Haren fronting the Snakes’ staff, I just don’t seen them going on any sustained losing streaks. Especially since the Dbacks have the best record in baseball against teams within their own division. They're something like 33 -16 against the West while the Dodgers record against the awful teams in the West is under .500! They needed to beat teams like the Giants and the Rockies and they didn't. When you’re in a pennant race, you simply have to beat the weaker teams. No excuses. Now they have to win the next 3 in Philly before going to DC to face the minor league they have over there. Then, both the Dbacks and the Dodgers, with about a month left in the campaign, will play mostly teams in their own division and, based on the numbers, it doesn't look good for the Blue. How about finding something to get mad about? Like my posts, for one. Here’s some incentive: You guys suck.

Why, during the US/Argentina game in the Olympics men’s basketball semifinals, was I stuck watching ping pong and field hockey? Why couldn’t they show the game live? Who woulda’ thought South Korea would become the baseball powerhouse they’ve become. What a disgrace for the Americans to go home with Bronze. Outside of the game where they beat up on the Chinese, they looked like the Dodgers out there. Just going through the motions with nothing to play for. Should be different with “USA” on your uniforms. Major League players in 2016?

Mountain To Climb

Hey, everyone! It's 6:26 in the AM and I've going to have my nose blasted open with surgical tools in an hour, but just thought I'd stop by to say the Dodgers suck again.

Back to 2 games behind the Serpents and the magic is gone. They came from ahead to lose to the Rockies and not even Manny suddenly being Manny Mota can't help them. The only excuse for losing 2 games at home to the Mountain Range is if the Mountain Range is planning on going on another historic run and winning the West again. Not sure if that's the case with these Rockies. Don't think they have the starting pitching. But if Francis, Cook and Jiminez all pitch well and their bullpen pitches anything like it is against the Dodgers, who knows? As far as the Blue, their bullpen is imploding and they're now throwing the ball all over the place. Doesn't look like a team that's poised to win a pennant, let alone a weak division.

Broxton's control problems don't mix well with his job as closer. And nice at bat by Loney to end the game. Ya never wanna go down swinging. Gives the opposing pitcher too much satisfaction.

Hey, Bad Lookin'!

Tomorrow’s the big day. New, functioning, not broken anymore nose. Maybe I’ll even look Brad Pitt or Donny Osmond or Craig Biggio. As long as I look better than me. Speaking of not looking good, let’s talk briefly about the Dodgers last night. What a horrid performance turned in by everyone except Jeff Kent. Manny was being Manny a couple of times, but he was also being Andruw Jones and Andre Ethier, the hero of the homestand up to now, looked like he just got back from a bender. I mean, he was clueless as can be at the plate. I can’t begin to articulate how terrible he was. He must have left 12 runners on base all by himself. Hiroki Kuroda was not himself and I think I’ve finally figured out his pattern. Three good games, 2 awful ones, 3 strong outings, 2 horrible ones, etc. That doesn’t bode well for his next start. Also, very worried about Hong Chi Kuo. Man, has he been lousy his last 2 stints on the mound. The whole bullpen sucked ass but we’re really counting on Kuo and if he becomes ineffective, we’re totally screwed. Especially since we know Greg Maddux can only go 6 innings tops. They’re back to being a game out of first and like I’ve always said, the Rockies have a very tough lineup. They’d better get it together tonight against lefty Jeff Francis – a Cy Young candidate last year and this year… not so much.

Would like to talk a little about our beloved overrated catcher, Russell Martin. After watching Martin step up to the plate last night with the bases loaded following a 3-1 single by Manny and a 5 pitch walk to Loney and the Dodgers down by a run, I was shocked to see him swing at the first offering by Manny Corpas and fly out meekly to right field. That dude is so freakin’ inconsistent, not only with his physical play, but with his mental play. Everybody just RAVES about Russell, but let’s look at his numbers: .289 batting average, Very respectable, but only 54 RBIs hitting in the middle of the lineup all year long. 11 home runs, so clearly, he’s hasn’t got a lot of power. A solid on base percentage of .391. His at bats are often a mystery. Like Kemp, (but less and less because Kemp is improving) he goes up there without a clue and kills rallies and leaves guys on base. He swings at just about everything these days, (as does Loney) and defensively, he’s no Steve Yeager. Martin has, if not THE lowest, certainly one of the lowest percentages in throwing out opposing base stealers in the NL. Let's face it. He’s just an okay catcher. He blocks the plate well, he calls a decent game. But is he the superstar the Dodgers and their fans make him out to be? Absolutely not. Look around the Bigs at all the catchers who’s numbers are better than Martin’s: Yadier Molina, Benji Molina, Brian McCann, Geovanny Soto, Ryan Doumit, Dionar Navarro, A.J. Pierzynski, Joe Mauer, Victor Martiniez (when he’s not hurt.) And those are just offensive stats. Even the Dbacks’ Chris Snyder has driven in more runs. Russell Martin appears to have the makings of a better than average, solid, streaky catcher who’s a gamer, can hit a little bit and can also play a little 3rd base. But why does everyone go crazy at the mere mention of his name and already have a space cleared out for him in the Hall? The best thing he can do for the team is to take a day or two off and see if he can get his head straightened out at the plate.

The Dodgers, as I’ve mentioned before in this space, have always had an irritating tendency to overrate their young players. Matt Kemp is a project but he clearly has the highest ceiling of the Dodgers’ kiddy corps along with Billingsley and Kershaw. Ethier? Good skills, has been showing us a lot lately, but may turn out to be nothing more than a Bill Buckner. Loney? I think he may have reached his plateau. He seems half asleep out there sometimes and where the hell did all his power go? I mean, he had SOME. But my friend Howard Cott, a fine catcher in his own right back in the day, makes an excellent point. From the Dodger organization, where are the Ryan Brauns, the Chase Utleys, the David Wrights and the Hanley Ramirezes? Why haven’t the Dodgers been able to bring up a young offensive powerhouse since Mike Piazza? And if Ethier, Loney and Martin don’t become stars, and Blake ends up leaving and Ramirez ends up in pinstripes which is the likeliest scenario (they could offer him more years because of the DH) what will the team look like next year? Where are the bats? Who's gonna play second base? And with Penny done and Lowe leaving, where’s the pitching beyond Billingsley, Kershaw and Kuroda? Good questions. But for now, let’s concentrate on getting to 4 games over .500 on August 20th. Jeez.

I Have A Dream?

Nose surgery Thursday. Alriiiiiight! Can hardly wait to have some dude from Iran cut into my proboscis and snap my septum back into place. I wonder if he’s gonna do one of those crazy celebratory Middle East trilly screams if it’s successful. When I’m having the procedure, will I dream? What will I dream about? Will it be that someone’s got my nose? Will it be that I’m actually getting paid by the network to whom we sold our show and with whom we have a signed contract? Will it be that the Dodgers will go on to the Fall Classic? Will it be health and wealth and happiness for all of mankind? Will it be that a ground ball in a softball game took a wild hop and broke my nose? Wait a minute… that’s why I’m there. …Will it be that my mother has turned younger but also turned into Meredith Baxter Birney? (I think she’s just Meredith Baxter now) Or will it be that the USA Olympic Baseball team will actually win a medal?

The USA beat Chinese Taipei today (Taiwan) and they beat up on poor host China. Even though the two countries almost beat each other to death, it was a blow out for the States, beating them 9-1. Obviosuly, the Chinese team needs to learn some of baseball's unwritten rules. They just had their first lesson. China is managed by one time Dodger’s 2nd baseman and 1965 Rookie of the Year, Jim Lefebvre. I remember back in the year of our Lord Nineteen Hundred and Seventy-Two when there was a short baseball lockout at the beginning of the season. I was in 5th grade at Mar Vista Elementary School (east of Venice and Santa Monica, north of Culver City) and the Dodgers – the Los Angeles Dodgers - were working out a block away at Mar Vista Recreation Center where I played my youth league baseball! Most of the teachers let their classes make the short walk across a couple of streets to go see them but our old biddy, Mrs. Forbes – God rest her, she’s gotta be dead by now – wouldn’t let us go. So who came marching into the school in full uniform to talk to the unfortunate and underprivileged but Mr. Jim Lefebvre! What a thrill! I sat right in front. All I remember is he was talking about baseball while I was admiring his bright white flannel – yes flannel – uniform. I was so enthralled, he might as well have been speaking Chinese. Funny. Now, he is.

Let me ask you this: Why isn’t Barry Bonds DHing for the USA Olympic baseball team? He’s not doing anything else right now. And certainly, as he’s been trying to get back in the bigs, he can’t be doping any more. So, why are we losing to South Korea and Cuba when we could have Barry Bonds hitting cleanup? What’s the matter, Barry? No sense of patriotism for the country and the game that brought you millions upon millions for giving so much joy to millions upon millions? How about you, Roger Clemens? Suddenly you’re unavailable for a few workouts, a few weeks of qualifying games and a 2 week trip to China? I mean, come on, guys. Terry Tiffee and Matt LaPorta and little Mike Koplove can’t do it all.

Remember a few blogs ago when I asked when the Dodgers will announce that they’ve re-acquired Greg Maddux? Well that time is now. The Dodgers have reacquired Greg Maddux. Now we actually have 5 starters who can pitch. Whee! (I don't do "whoo hoo." I hate "whoo hoo.")

Tonight we open a 3 game series against that faltering club from the Rockies, the Rockies. Ubaldo Jiminez goes up against Hiroki Kuroda. Jiminez owned the Dodgers last time they played and struck out, like, 30 guys or something. Pretty tough feat considering only 27 outs were recorded. Kuroda, who hails from Japan, by the way, is on a roll and Jiminez is off his roll. I actually like the Blue’s chances, since they’re not a mile high in the Denver sky. Nice article on Kuroda in today’s Times by Dylan Hernandez. In the article, it says Kuroda’s high school and college coaches used to hit him when he did something wrong. Can you imagine if a coach or manager tried that in this country? Don’t they have litigation in Japan? If I hit one of the kids I coached at Santa Monica High School, I’d get gang trampled and I'd be sued by the entire Western United States.

In Japan, baseball is very spiritual. Here, it’s something to do between soccer season and football season and a way to possibly make huge bucks in the future. When practicing in the hot summer in Japan, they don’t let you drink water because it would weaken the spirit. In practicing in the hot summer, here… well, wait a minute, we don’t practice in the hot summer here. We just play games. But if we did practice, our young players wouldn’t go ten minutes without a Red Bull, let alone water. Kuroda was the ace for a while for the Hiroshima Carp. For those of you who don’t know, those are those colorful fishies you see in ponds in front of Benihana and nice hotels. They’re just big goldfish. Now Kuroda is pitching in a much bigger fish bowl and he’s doing quite well. I like him. He owns up to his mistakes, makes no excuses, takes the ball every fifth day, does his best and he's pretty low maintenance. Just don't overfeed him.

Anyway, another must win game tonight. The Snakes have it easy against the Dads and someone has to win this thing. Might as well be Manny, Blake, Maddux and the rest of us. The new us.

The Second Guess Accusation

What a weird day. Some Indian dude came over and wanted to rent out my available room to 3 UCLA students from India. He offered me cash, but it's just for a month, so I'd still have to find someone else by October. Maybe I could get some fringe benefits like improving my I.T. skills or learning how to sit in the lotus position. Maybe I could just acquire some passive resistance or some calm. That's what the Dodgers appeared to have going for them today until the 9th inning.

It was a surprising bounce back from a devastating loss last night. They're back to being tied with Arizona for 1st place with a much needed day off tomorrow. I feel badly for Clayton Kershaw who pitched a gem only to have the biggest win of his young career blown by James Loney and Chan Ho Park. With a 5-1 lead in the 9th, there was no reason to believe the effective Johnson, who had already pitched 2 strong innings of relief, would faler. But after giving up a leadoff single Torre went and got him and brought in Chan Ho Park who was immediately sabotaged by his first baseman who made 2 errors on one play. Suddenly there were runners on 2nd and 3rd with one out. Chan Ho quickly gave up the single to Durham to make it 5-3, but he got Hardy out and he was ahead in the count 0-2 to Ryan Braun. No brainer right? You got a guy like Braun down in the count 0-2, you waste a pitch. Throw him something low and away, anywhere outside the zone that he could maybe flail at but can't do anything with. Again, it's Little League, man. Basic stuff. But the veteran, Park throws him a hanger right over the middle of the plate and Braun hits it to Glendale. 5-5. Focus. The stupid is coming on strong on this team like a viral epidemic and the only way to remedy it is to start hitting lots of home runs and see what happens. Well... that is exactly what they're doing. Andre Ethier, it appears, is the new Manny. a 2 run dong last night and a double and 2 blasts today, the last one a game winner in the 9th. Like I said a couple of blogs ago, I think we're going to find out who Andre Ethier is and we have to like what we're seeing so far. I could just see Juan Pierre's big sad eyes getting sadder. I like Juan Pierre, but Ethier just won a permanent spot this weekend. Meanwhile Manny stopped being Hee Sop Choi and started being Manny again with a blast and a few RBIs of his own and Kemp hit the first pitch of the game out of the park as well. The new powerhouse Dodgers? Except Casey Blake, who looks like crap. He's just not swinging the bat the same way as he was a week or so ago. I know. It's called a slump, but his swing looks awful and his ABs are clueless. At any rate, they really needed the sweep. I know baseball is a sport where there's almost always a game the next day and you have to have a short memory, but I don't forget the losses. Had the Dodgers not blown those 2 games in San Fran and last night's game to the Crew, they'd have a 10 game winning streak and they'd be in 1st place by themselves, 3 games in front of the Snakes. Sorry, but it's my duty to remind you. Focus.

In spite of his amazing offense of late, Ethier, in my opinion, should have made an attempt on that 10th game winning single by Hardy last night. He started in and just appeared to stop for no real reason, allowing the ball to bounce in front of him and the run to score. Maybe he thought he had a better shot at throwing Durham out at the dish than making a diving catch of the low liner, but I think he had it if he just kept charging in. He may have to slide a bit, but with the game on the line, you gotta try to make that catch. Weird play.

The LA Times, Kurt Streeter e-mailed be back today to say that I made some good points about Kemp's bonehead baserunning play last night, but he still thinks Kemp is going to be a world beater. I mostly agree, but like I said, baseball common sense is hard to teach. You need to learn it young and, apparently, Kemp was busy playing football when he was young. Hey, I played football too, but I knew not to tag up at first base on a ball that might go over the centerfield wall. However, KABC Dodger broadcasters, Charlie "Dr. Brilliant" Steiner and Rick "Homer" Monday disagreed with me. They think Kemp did the right thing based on the most irritating argument in the world, that being, the "second guess accusation." The second guess accusation is when some ass says you're second guessing every time you disagree with a move a player or manager made. In other words, any time you question any decision or play, the second guess accuser says you'd think differently if the result were different. In other words, you're basically being accused of not recognizing or identifying a blunder until after the fact. "What if Cameron HAD caught the ball?' say Monday and his Idiot cohort, Steiner. "'Then you'd be mad at Kemp for NOT tagging up and advancing to second base." Wrong, dumbasses. Centerfield is closer to 2nd base than it is to 1st, 3rd and home. Had Cameron caught the ball and had Kemp tried to advance to 2nd on the play, Cameron would likely have nailed him at 2nd base. Stop making excuses for bad baseball. There are two ways to play the game: The right way and the wrong way. Tagging up from first base on a deep drive to center that goes off the wall is the wrong way. Going halfway and waiting to see what happens is the right way. Rarely can guys successfully tag up from first base and advance to 2nd on a deep fly to center. Had Cameron caught the ball, Kemp would have had no alternative but to retreat back to 1st. I hate the second guess accusation. It's a catchall weapon for the weak of mind and it dismisses the knowledge that some people actually possess. I'm used to nice guy, Rick Monday avoiding controversy. He's no longer the hero who rescued the American flag from a nut and his son between innings in centerfield at the Ravine. But as far as Steiner is concerned... can we maybe trade him and some cash to the Giants for Jon Miller?

Think Stupid?

How many drinks will Matt Kemp's growing pains drive me to? Last night it was a couple of Jacks on the rocks. In today's Times, Kurt Streeter writes of Matt Kemp's impending greatness and his being way ahead of schedule, but what he fails to mention is that baseball smarts are not something that develop that easily. How in the name of God can you be on first base, have blazing speed, be down by a run in the 10th inning and the the next guy up (Ethier) hits one off the top of the wall and NOT ONLY DO YOU NOT SCORE, YOU DON'T EVEN ADVANCE PAST SECOND BASE?????????????????????????!!!!!!??????????????!!?????

Look, talented young idiot, it's Little League. You go HALF WAY. You don't RUN BACK TO THE BAG AND TAG UP!!! Sure, the Brewers outfielders had been making spectacular catches all game long, but chances are, if Cameron catches that ball, and it certainly did look like he had a shot at it -not a good shot, but a shot - you're not going to be able to tag up and advance to 2nd anyway. It's Little League, man! You go half way, see what happens and if he doesn't catch it, with your speed, you're home with the tying run. They end up losing because with two outs and runners on 1st and 2nd, Manny being human struck out again. Wonder how Ethier felt? You hit a ball that misses being a dong by inches, it hits the top of the wall and bounces away and you get A SINGLE! I estimate that in Kemp's first two full years in the Bigs, he's blown at least 10 games with his horrible baserunning. "But, look at all the games he's won with his speed," you say? He's supposed to do be able to run the bases, jerk. He's a Major Leaguer. He's not supposed to kill the team's chances by being incredilbly stupid time and time again. I think Kemp could be a great, great ballplayer and that's what makes this even more frustrating.

Speaking of incredibly stupid and frustrating, Torre's handling of the lineup and pitching staff is beginning to bug me. The game had an ominous feel throughout because Lowe kept allowing the leadoff guy on base with every inning. But, by the top of the 8th, he was still effective and had thrown less than 100 pitches with the right handed menace, Braun leading off. Look, Joe, I know Hong Chi Kuo is your setup guy, but HE'S A FREAKING LEFTY! Why not leave Lowe in to at least pitch to Braun??? Not only that, but he's followed by Ray Durham who's average against lefties is almost a hundred points higher than his average against righties. Kuo ends up tanking, loses the lead and then, to make matters worse, Joe, you screw up your substitution at shorstop. You bring in Berroa to replace Nomar because Nomar made the last out in the 7th, so you have Kuo hitting in Nomar's spot and Berroa hitting in the pitcher's spot. Why not plan on pinch hitting for Kuo in the 8th with Pierre or Sweeney and have Berroa hit in Nomar's spot so you don't waste him? Why take Nomar out in that tight a game anyway? You're going to need his bat. Ned Yost totally outmanaged Joe Torre last night. He had his whole bench available in the 10th. Torre had Danny Ardoin.

Look, people, the Snakes won big again last night. It's become evident that they're just NOT going to lose important games and the Dodgers ARE going to lose important games. First of all, they made the Brewers' 5th starter, Dave Bush, look like Walter Johnson. But what hurts even more is that they're going to lose them by not taking advantage of gifts like Hardy's error and they're going to waste other opportunities like Lowe's strong outing and they're going to lose by playing plain old dumb baseball. "Casey" & point: Casey Blake, the hero of Friday night's game, came to bat in a crucial situation, stood there and watched 3 clear strikes go right by him and didn't even know what the count was. Later, in the 9th, with the winning run 90 feet away, Blake had another putrid at bat, taking a weak swing on a questionable pitch and blooping out to short right field. Jonathan Broxton gets 2 quick outs with Kendall and Braun (whom he K's) and then he gives up a 5 pitch walk to Durham. Forgets to hold him on and Durham becomes the winning run. Pablo Ozuna had an opportunity to do something in the 10th and he let a fastball right down the middle go by with his bat on his shoulder and had the audacity to question the call. Then Kemp singles and does his Special Ed number on Ethier's drive off the wall.

I say they let down and lose again today. Let's see how much heart this team has. They're back to being one game out.

FOCUS!

Think Cure

Where is the propriety in the world? I could go into a lengthy diatribe about how I feel wronged by society, how poorly things are going and how sorry I feel for myself, but it’s tough when the Dodgers are on such a roll and their number one charity, ThinkCure is having their big weekend. I wish I could donate, and I know every little bit helps, but I’ll be on the street soon and I might need that little bit for cardboard enclosures and grease for my grocery cart wheels. At any rate, it’s a great cause and when there are kids with cancer and life threatening diseases, my stupid broken nose and pending complete physical and surgery and absolute financial insolvency and my soon-to-be lack of food and shelter seem relatively unimportant.

Plus the Dodgers are doing what they’re supposed to be doing and that’s the important thing. FOUR GAMES over .500? The Dodgers? Think Cure. Could it be that Manny and Casey Blake have cured them?

Last night, they defeated the Ryan Braunless Brewers! In doing so, they were able to sustain that winning streak I was saying was so important at this point in the season, while, at the same time, keeping pace with the D-backs who made mince meat out of the ‘Stros behind this year's NL Cy Young winner, Brandon Webb. (Why even wait for the vote?) Manny is beginning to show he’s human. He just had one hit and RBI last night while striking out twice. We like that he’s little bit human, but we don’t want him to be too human. In order for the Dodgers to win this thing, it’s essential that he continues to be otherworldly. Matt Kemp is starting to hit doubles. Nomar is not only hitting the ball harder for the few games before he goes back on the DL, but he’s playing brilliant vintage Nomar defense at short. Jeff Kent, although very few home runs of late, is hitting the crap out of the ball in the 3-hole in front of Manny and Casey Blake and Russell Martin have returned to form in a big way. Loney, has been a little quiet. Where is the power from that guy? 9 home runs? Are you kidding me? Billingsley pitched well after a shaky first couple of innings and they came back from behind and won for… what? The 3rd time in 5 games, In think. These are the new Dodgers. I kind of like what Torre is doing with Ethier and Pierre – playing Andre two out of every three games. That gives Pierre a chance to do his magic a couple of games a week and he’s available to come in off the bench on the other days, while allowing Ethier to start spreading his wings a little bit. Besides, Ramon Troncoso, who I still don’t feel is Major League ready, their bullpen has also been looking fairly sharp. I wonder when they’re going to announce the Greg Maddux acquisition? He pitched like the old Dr. Maddux last night in the Phils 1-0 win over the Dads. The Blue had better hurry and grab him up for that 5th starter role. Everybody in baseball knows he wants to come back to LA.

Okay, so all this good stuff being said, guess what? They still MUST WIN again tonight. They're screwed if they don't. They really need another sweep and against whom better than the 3 and 4 mediocre Brew Crew starters – Bush and Suppan? I want to see an aggressive, pissed off Dodger team that now knows it can beat anyone in the league, whether or not that’s true. I also want to see some money in my bank account, so I guess what I want holds rather little weight.

If I was a teenager with a crapload of energy, I’d spend my nights lusting after the entire American Olympic gymnastics team and the middle of my nights watching the USA baseball squad flail. Okay, they lost to mighty Cuba and their best player, Jayson Nix got hurt when he bunted a ball into his own face, but shouldn’t they be winning these games, and handily? IT’S FREAKIN’ BASEBALL AND YOU’RE THE TEAM FROM THE USA! Actually, evidenced by the Americans loss to Cuba, it’s not really baseball. It’s some weird derivation of it. If the games are tied after 9 innings, they’ve instituted this weird “overtime” play, where each team gets to begin every extra inning with runners on 1st and 2nd and can have anyone in their lineup come up and hit. What the f**k is that??? It ain't baseball, that's for damn sure. If stupid ideas like that are the only way baseball can remain an Olympic sport, then get rid of it. I’ll settle for the World Cup.

Brew Ha Ha Or Brew Hoo Hoo?

Wow. As my world and nose are falling apart, the Dodgers world is vastly improving. Their sweep of the fairly mighty Phillies was HUGE. Officially, it was the first time the Dodgers swept the Phils in a four game set at the Ravine since 1962! Can’t remember the last time they swept a four game series, period, but I assure you, it more recently than ’62. Hiroki Kuroda looked like a freakin’ Cy Young candidate. Especially if you couple this win with his near perfecto against Atlanta earlier this year. Matt Kemp read this blog and took a smarter approach at the plate. He actually homered! And Casey Blake even got a hit. Manny cuts his hair an inch or two shorter and goes 0 for and it doesn’t even matter.

BUT… let’s not get too full of ourselves. They’re still tied with Arizona. I hate to be the bearer of sad reminders, nut had they won those 2 games in San Fran they were supposed to win, they’d be 2 games in first right now. I’m still pissed off about those losses. Also, Bad Penny is back on the DL and could well be done for the year. Not that it’s a bad thing, necessarily. Personally, I think the big farm boy’s done. They should acquire Greg Maddux yesterday for that 5th starter position. They’re still not all hitting in sync and they need a couple of weeks of that to really begin to dominate.

If the season ends today, the Milwaukee Brewers go to the Playoffs as the Wild Card team, 17 games over .500. Not bad. Thus far, to put it bluntly, they’re a better team than the Dodgers. Sabathia and Sheets are better than any two starters the Blue have (luckily they don’t have to face them this series) but the Dodgers overall starting staff is a little stronger. The Dodgers are also slightly better in the battle of the bullpens. But the Brewers starting lineup features some bombers. If their best player and MVP candidate, Ryan Braun is injury free, they’re a very tough team, along with big, fat Prince Fielder who hits a ton, All Star right fielder Corey Hart is another big hitter and Mike Cameron just hit his 20th dong playing only half a season. Shortstop, J.J. Hardy is on a roll as well and Jason Kendall, as always, is a very reliable catcher. With Cy Young lock Brandon Webb on the mound in Houston tonight, it’s almost a sure win for the Snakes. However, the ‘Stros have been playing very tough ball. In fact, they’ve won, like, 8 in a row and have the same record as the Snakes and the Dodgers. But, to give you an idea of how bad the West is, the Astros are in 4TH PLACE in the Central, and, essentially, out of the race! They Blue will have to win tonight to keep pace. If the Dodgers can keep up their little roll, it would be a major coup. They need to sweep. It’s time now for the Los Angeles Dodgers to establish themselves as the premiere team in the National League’s Western Division and as one of the stronger teams in the league, period.

I have spoken.

Knows Job

Have you ever broken your nose? It’s not the worst injury you can incur, but if your septum is collapsed it can be mighty uncomfortable. I watched the Dodgers’ inspiring victory last night feeling and sounding as if I had a clothes pin affixed to my nose. By the time this thing is taken care of, it’ll cost thousands of dollars which I don’t have. Any nose docs out there do any pro bono work?

Well, a guy who’s nose will always look worse than mine, no matter how broken it is, came through for us in the 9th last night. Nomar reached down to pick up Condrey’s sinker/slider and knocked it into the Dodger bullpen for their 3rd straight victory against the East leading Phillies. Nomar had looked like crap in each of his at bats for the two games prior to his heroic blast last night, but he’s still an improvement over Angel Cabrerra. Hopefully he gets his timing back and he can stay healthy for another week or two. I realize that's a lot to ask.

Just how good is Andre Ethier? We may be on our way to finding out.

Welcome back to first place. The Snakes finally lose one to the Rockies and we’re in a dead heat again. Now we have to continue to improve. Matt Kemp and Casey Blake were infuriating to watch at the plate. Kemp gets 3 hits in each of his last 3 games and, once again, forgets who he is, loses that focus, and falls apart to mediocre Philly pitching. He needs to remember that as long as he’s hitting in the lead off position, he needs to take a lead off man’s approach. GET ON BASE. With two on and nobody out in the 8th, after Chad Durbin walked Pierre on 4 pitches and threw the first pitch to Kemp way out of the zone, you’d think Kemp (or just about any Little Leaguer) would be smart enough to take the next pitch, but no. He swings at a shoulder high pitch and loops out weakly to center. Jeff Kent, who’s been on fire since he started seeing all those fastballs hitting in front of The Manny, saved the day with a double to left, scoring Martin and Pierre. No thanks to Matt Kemp. For the Dodgers to continue winning, Kemp must stay focused. And what of mighty Casey? He stunk in more ways than I could begin to articulate. How can anybody be 1 for 19 against Joe Blanton? He appears to be lunging up there and I’ve never seen a more indecisive hitter. He constantly checks his swing. His 2 RBIs the night before were weak fly balls and poor at bats. We need the Casey Blake we initially acquired from Cleveland in order to keep this thing going. Loney is also an on and off guy of late, but let’s face it, with Manny in there and a resurgent Russell Martin, the lineup is potentially very scary to opposing arms.

Speaking of arms, how bad is Brad Penny? Is he done? That remains to be seen. He’s coming back after a long stint on the DL and he did strike out 4 guys in his 3 awful innings with his fastball back up into the 90’s, but boy did he suck! Who gives up 3 2-run homers in 2 innings who’s not being managed by Davey Johnson? If Penny doesn’t get his act together, the Dodgers may have to pull the trigger on that Greg Maddux deal. Maybe they should just do it anyway. Can’t hurt to have the veteran. Jason Johnson and Chan Ho did an amazing job, helping to stifle the Phils for the remainder of the contest. Question? In the 6th inning, down by 2 runs, with Russell Martin on 2nd and 2 outs, why did Torre let Jason Johnson hit for himself? Why? What a dumb move. Johnson came out in the 7th and got the first two batters, but then got into trouble and had to be removed anyway.

Look, friends, it’s a rare 4 night game series against Philly and they have to sweep. They’re running on almost all cylinders now and three out of four is not good enough in this blogger’s opinion. I can’t say enough how important it is to establish confidence and dominance and to remain focused. EVERYONE MUST KNOW HIS JOB. They must continue to be disciplined. They can actually win this thing. It’s kind of exciting. And, when the red hot Brewers come into town tomorrow night, (8 wins in a rowat the time of this posting) the Dodgers will not have to face their two aces, Sabathia, who won last night, and Sheets, who pitches today. If the Blue can keep the momentum going, they have a shot at taking the series from the playoff bound Brew Crew and starting to creep away from the Snakes. Wow.

Have I mentioned how great Manny Ramirez is?

Thanks to the USA baseball team for a hard fought win over the Dutch. Whew! Hopefully, we can make it past the first round in the American pastime, in the GAME WE INVENTED.

Michael Phelps Who?

Who can watch the Olympics when the Dodgers have Manny Ramirez? Last night’s game was a beautiful thing. If I’d been paid yet, and if I could breathe out of my broken nose, I’d have gone out to celebrate. The Dodgers fought their way back from a small deficit, but they actually fought their way back , something they would not have been able to do had Manny and Casy Blake not been in the lineup. They beat a first place team whose ace had made the start. Unfortunately, it all means very little if they don’t get the sweep against the disappointing Joe Blanton, late of the Oakland A’s, tonight. The bottom line is they MUST begin to show dominance.

Personally, in spite of the fact that fellow UCLA alum, Chase Utley could be the best second baseman I’ve ever seen and one of the 5 best overall players in the game, and the fact that J Roll, (Jimmy Rollins) last years MVP (I thought he had a great year, but felt Matt Holliday deserved it more) is also an amazing player, I believe the Dodgers actually have a MUCH better club. Their starting pitching is far superior to Philly’s. And now that they have Manny, their power is beginning to gain on theirs. 2006 MVP, Ryan Howard is tied for the MLB lead in HR’s. and has 100 RBI’s but the man is hitting in the .230’s and strikes out more than anyone – even Adam Dunn and Mark Reynolds. The Dodgers need to show the National League and themselves that they are indeed a force to be reckoned with and what better way to do that than to sweep Philly and beat up on Milwaukee in the Ravine? Don’t answer that. Do it in their parks. That would really show dominance.

Nomar looked bad at the plate in his debut from the DL and Martin still looked off, but Kemp, Manny and Blake look strong. Ethier’s at bat in the 9th against J..C. Romero, whose ERA against lefthanded hitters was under 1.0, was superb. He fought off pitch after pitch until he got the right one and he drove it the other way over J Roll’s head. But the Arizona Diamondbacks continue to win the games they need to win. They own Colorado this year. Every game is a must win for the Blue if they’re going to remain close.

What happened to my prediction that the Rockies were going to wind up winning the West? Evidently, I was wrong. They were on a roll, and now, for whatever reason, they’ve decided to stink again. I thought that a resurgent Ubaldo Jiminez, who’s fastball was clocked at 100 mph and Cy Young candidate Aaron Cook would lead the way, along with their extremely potent lineup to finally making sense out of a confusing and crappy division. But last year’s NL Champs just can’t seem to keep it together. I still think the Snakes are gonna take it for no other reason than Webb, Haren and Johnson. But my heart is with the Dodgers and they actually have a reasonable chance to do it. In fact, they’re more likely to go on a roll than Arizona because the Dodgers starting pitching in the 4 and 5 spots is superior to that of the Phoenix franchise. So, I guess what I’m saying is that if the Dodgers are going to win the West, they’ll either begin to run away with it, or they won’t do it at all.

How does the US Olympic baseball team lose to Korea? Well, manager Davey Johnson has always had bad luck with Koreans. Remember when he left Chan Ho in too long in the first inning and he gave up 2 GRAND SLAMS to Fernando Tatis… IN THE SAME INNING??? Well, Johnson is at the helm for the U.S. team and they choked big time in the bottom of the 9th after rallying for 3 runs in the top of the 9th. What a disgrace. Maybe, if baseball does remain an Olympic sport, they can take 2 weeks off of the regular season to allow some of our big leaguers to go there and play and re-establish some world order. I realize that sounds ridiculous, but why can’t our college and minor league guys get the job done? Because there’s too much pressure and they’re not used to it. The other countries’ teams don’t feel the pressure nearly as much as the Americans. It’s not their game, they don’t expect to win, so they go out their all loosey goosey and kick our butts. Hopefully we can save face by beating The Netherlands today. Unless they have some Viking names Sven with a mean ass slider and a 98 mile per hour fastball, we should get a win.

Softballs?

So, as the summer speeds toward the end of its second month, I go back to the doc and find that my septum is collapsed and I need surgery. After having played 35 years of competitive baseball, it’s hard to deal with succumbing to a softball injury. A pick-up game, nonetheless, mostly with guys who aren‘t ballplayers, let alone athletes. The guy who hit the hard grounder to me probably didn’t even own his own glove. But because of a poorly kept municipal park field and some bad luck, and, perhaps, slightly slower reflexes (though I doubt that part) I can no longer breathe out of my right nostril. Oh well. Such is life and baseball is a microcosm for life. I guess, so is softball.

Speaking of soft balls, my last posting must’ve gotten to the Dodgers. They came out in the Ravine last night like a team on a mission, ripping apart the mediocre starting pitching of the Eastern Division leading Philadelphia Phillies. Kyle Kendrick is by no means consistent and Manny and the Blue had little difficulty exposing his flaws. Derek Lowe pitched just well enough to win. Arizona was idle, so the Dodgers are back to being just a half game out of first. However, it’s the consistency that’s been the problem. They have to beat Philly’s ersatz ace, Cole Hamels, tonight. Hamels, who’s never faced the Dodgers, is a strike out guy who seems to have one bad game for every great game, hence his 9-8 record, but a decent ERA around 3.35. Meanwhile, the Snakes have acquired slugger Adam Dunn from Cincy. Dunn is tied with the MLB lead in homers with Ryan Howard with 32, but the lug is only hitting .233 and strikes out a ton. Between him and Snakes 3rd baseman, Craig Reynolds, you’ve got a butt load of home runs and an even bigger butt load of K’s. Let’s look at it this way: Dunn will help, but he’s no Manny. As I’ve mentioned many times, the reason the DBacks are still likely to win this thing is their starting pitching, The Dodgers MUST go on a winning streak. Teams that don’t habe sizeable winning streaks do not make the playoffs. I’m convinced that their 2 crucial and dumbass late inning losses to the midget Gigantes have cost them the season, but if they could put together a string of wins against teams like Philly and the Brew Crew, they can get themselves a few games above .500 and establish themselves as a force to be reckoned with. Since they’re at home and since Nomar is coming back tonight (The Stink most likely going back on the DL with that sore surgically repaired knee – a mere excuse to create a roster spot for the porcelain Nomar) and since Manny, Blake, Kemp, Loney and Kent, hitting in the number 3 hole ahead of Ramirez all seem to be on a roll, this is the time to strike. If Kemp can hit for a little more pop, their lineup is actually pretty tough, Torre having made the decision to give the resurgent Ethier the regular spot in right. (Provided he won't continue turning routine line drive outs into triples) Martin needs to climb out of his hell hole of a slump and young Kershaw needs a 3rd consecutive strong outing. Broxton is going to have to be stronger in the closer’s role and the rest of the staff is going to have to remain consistent. These are all things the team has NOT been able to do all year, so why should they be able to do it now? Besides the addition of veterans Manny and Blake, they shouldn’t. But let’s hope they can.

Manny almost didn’t make it out to left field for the 9th inning last night. Evidently he thought he was out of the game and went to the bathroom, during which time, for whatever reason, he removed his jersey. I don’t care what he did or didn’t do in Boston. He’s a nut and I love him.

Focus, Focus, Focus? ...Ficus!

Well, today was, without a doubt, the toughest loss of the season and, in my opinion – hate to be viewed as a knee jerk reactor as they’re still only one and a half games out of first – but the game that will ultimately decide their fate. The Snakes won today because they needed to. The Dodgers, who should have come into San Fran and swept that miserable club, lost 2 out of 3 and have shown that, in spite of Manny Ramirez, they just don’t have what it takes to be a playoff bound team. I really think we found out what they’re made of today. They have neither the heart nor the focus.

First of all, not fuh nuttin', but how do you let Manny get plunked in the 1st inning and not retaliate AGAINST THE GIANTS??? What kind of Dodger team is this?

Taking a 4-3 lead into the 9th, in spite of Broxton’s implosion last night, Torre made some odd decisions by staying with Kuo instead of Broxton, but let’s face it: Casey Blake, you seem like a great guy and we all make errors, but you blew the damn game. With one out in the 9th, a tailor made double play grounder to you with the potential tying and go ahead runs on base, you stopped one step too early and ya booted it. How can a Major Leaguer boot that ball?? Focus, focus, focus! With the game tied at 4, bases loaded and 2 outs, a weak grounder up the middle goes through Kuo’s legs and Angel Berroa MUST GLIDE ACROSS AND MAKE THAT PLAY. It’s not a difficult one for a Big Leaguer, but he was tentative, even with the game on the line and, so, the winning run scores. Focus, focus, focus! Billingsley is their ace. He needs to be tougher and he needs to pitch guys tougher, not let them off the hook so easily. He did not pitch like an ace today. He pitched like a scared kid. Focus, focus, focus! I know Matt Cain is the Giants’ number 2 guy, but Dodger hitters (except Ramirez) continue to swing at the pitcher’s pitch instead of the hitter’s pitch. You can’t just have 3 guys working counts. You need your whole lineup to work counts. Everyone has to be on the same page. Everyone has to focus! They do not, they WILL NOT all focus at the same time and that is exactly why they can’t get above .500. Unless guys can learn to wait for the hitter’s pitch and stop swinging at pitches barely in or near the strike zone, allowing themselves to fall victim to every slider, sinker and change up the opposing pitcher tosses at them, they’ll continue running in place. Focus, focus, focus!

Last night, same thing. They should’ve scored 8 runs against Correia and the Giants. It’s as if they make some collective decision to take nights off. You can’t really afford to do that any time, but certainly not in an August pennant race. Blake has stopped hitting. It happens. Martin looks like he just came up from Double A. He walked a couple of times today, but his swing looks horrid and mentally, he looks fatigued and fairly clueless. Loney looks just awful. He actually looks bored. James, we’re not keeping you awake, are we? And, in spite of his almost hitting for the cycle today – minus a home run – Matt Kemp is opening up too soon. Why can’t Don Mattingly, someone – ANYONE – point that out to him??? Matt, read my damn blog! When your hips fly open up too soon, you tend to pull off the ball and that takes your power away. That’s much of the reason why you have so few home runs at this point in the season.

Sure, you can blame last night’s loss on Broxton and his terrible inning, but he shouldn’t have even been in that precarious a position. The Giants are GOD AWFUL with virtually no lineup. If you’re going to win anything, you’ve got to come in with a swagger and beat teams like that.

I also feel that, in spite of Berroa’s strong defense, they have to start Ozuna at short until Nomar’s return. A team that can’t score runs can’t afford to have the pitcher hitting 8th and 9th. Berroa swings like a pitcher who’s played most of his career in the American League.

Now they return home and have to face 2 teams who actually WANT to win – Philly and Milwaukee. If Derek Lowe looks anything like he did the other night, the Phillies should rip him apart. C.C. Sabathia will shut the Dodgers down. Meanwhile, the Snakes get to play some bad teams and this is when I feel the DBacks will pull away from the Dodgers. The Snakes have 3 excellent, consistent starting pitchers and they seem to win the games they need to win. The Dodgers have one good pitcher, and 4 decent pitchers who are extremely inconsistent. In this home stand, and in the ensuing road trip, the Phillies and the Brewers should put the Dodgers playoff hopes on ice... unless something changes fast. Where's the desire?

Some questions:

Why, after Andre Ethier hit a home run earlier in the season did Charlie Steiner exclaim, “My Dinner With Andre!”?

Because he’s an idiot. “My Dinner With Andre” was a 1981 film starring Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory, in which they played themselves, engaged in a long dinnertime conversation, made into a dramatic exchange by director, Louis Malle. It’s an art house classic and has nothing whatsoever to do with baseball. It just has a guy named Andre in it. Steiner needs to either shut up or come up with relevant things to say.

Why are the Tampa Bay Rays 4 games in front of Boston and 7 games in front of the Yanks in the AL East?

Good question. Personnel-wise, Boston and New York are both far superior teams. The Rays are where they are because they play solid defense and good, consistent, fundamental baseball. Tip your hat to manager, Joe Maddon, late a coach of the Angels under the great Mike Scioscia. Their ace, Scott Kazmir, has sucked since the All Star break. Jamie Shields, their number 2 guy has pitched well, Sonnanstine, Garza and ex-Dodger Edwin Jackson have also pitched fairly well. No one has been stellar. Their bullpen is more than solid. Their biggest bat has been Rookie of the Year lock, Evan Longoria, who’s hitting in the .270’s but has a good shot at 100 RBI and a decent shot at 30 Hrs. The guys that they were hoping would be superstars – Carl Crawford and B.J. Upton are having decent years, but nothing spectacular. First baseman, Carlos Pena is driving in runs and hitting homers, but he has such a low batting average, they were in the market for Teixeira. Catcher, Dioner Navarro (ex-Dodger) has been a huge surprise, but is not a big time run producer. Yet, they continue to win. As they continue to pull away from their betters, one can only be reminded of the ’88 Dodgers who had no business winning the West, let alone winning the World Series. But the Rays have no Orel Hershiser.

Who’s going to win the World Series?

The Angels.

Why is the word, "Ficus" in the title of my blog?

A ficus is a little tree, I think, and I like them and it sounds like "focus" and it's the word I always exclaim when the Dodgers season is, for all intents and purposes, over. So much for being in clover.

Focus, focus, focus? May be a little too late.

Favre Off!

Is it just me or is anyone else sick and damn tired of hearing about Brett Favre? Look, I’m a big NFL football fan. Since there are no more Los Angeles Rams, my allegiances are now split betwixt the Denver Broncos and the New Orleans Saints. I gave up on the Rams when I used to wait tables in Beverly Hills and the late Georgia Frontiere was a regular customer. She’s no longer with us. Neither are Hitler and Mussolini. It wasn’t that she moved the Rams, first to Anaheim, then to St Louis that bothered me about her. What bothered me about her is she was purely and simply an obnoxious, awful woman. When I learned she was moving with the team to St. Louie, I considered offering her help loading the van. Anyway, the Broncos and Saints were always high on my list as a kid. Loved the Orange Crush teams, loved Elway (played high school baseball against him) and was a huge Archie Manning fan as a child. So, yeah. I like football. But if I have to hear one more lead story about Brett Favre I’m gonna puke. WHO CARES? Okay, so he retired, then he changed his mind. So what? So, the Packers made a decision to start Aaron Rogers so Favre had to be traded. So what? Neither the Jets nor the Packers are going to the Super Bowl, so, again, WHO THE FK CARES????

What IS important, however, is the Dodgers have picked up 2 games on Arizona in the last 3 days and are only a half game out of first at the time of this writing. Also at the time of this writing, they’re in the bottom of the 1st at AT&T Park. (Hate that name) like I said, it needs to be a sweep. They have a tough schedule at home next week against Philly, Milwaukee and the Rocks. They need wins to prove the ESPN Baseball Tonight peops wrong, who all believe the division will go to the Snakes because of the Webb/Haren/ Johnson connection.

Manny is human, as it turns out, but he sure is great. More later.

Think Manny's Any Good?

Back at .500. Derek Lowe looked like s**t last night. I’ve never seen him look so bad. It was the worst game I’ve seen a Dodger pitch against St. Louis since Chan Ho Park gave up 2 grand slams to Fernando Tatis in the same inning – the first inning – in 1999. (Davey Johnson should never have given him Chan Ho the opportunity. He should’ve pulled him the 2nd time Tatis walked up to the dish with the bases juiced. Park was never the same after that.) Nice outing, Derek. So, that’s what we’re gonna get from you against the good times down the stretch?

Have I mentioned Manny Ramirez is great?

Why did Joe Torre have to make that big stink with the umps in the 8th inning about Sweeney and Kent? The rules states that, whether the umpire declares a player is in the game or not, if he steps into the batter’s box, he’s officially in the game and Mark Sweeney clearly stepped into the box. The 20 minute argument helped kill the momentum the Dodgers had established early in the inning and may have contributed to killing their rally. Torre played the remainder of the game under protest, hoping the game will restart on some assigned date from that point in the game where Sweeney came in to pinch hit. Fat chance that protest will be upheld. What a waste of time. Still, didn’t matter. Derek Lowe gave them no chance to win.

Great game today for Clayton Kershaw. This wasn’t the Washington Nationals he shut down, it was the mighty Cardinals in St. Louis. Another big dong for Manny. His 4th in 6 games since joining the team! And a slumping, confused Russell Martin sat down today, giving Danny Ardoin a turn behind the dish, but more importantly, giving someone who knows what they’re doing a shot at hitting in the 3 hole in front of Manny. Jeff Kent got a couple of hits and was on base when Manny homered. He also scored in the first on Loney’s hit.

Have I mentioned Manny Ramirez is great?

Boy, that 3-4 in the Redbirds lineup of Pujols and Ludwick sure is scary and it really brings to light just how little the Dodgers had going for them offensively before the arrival of Manny and how they still need that other frightening bat. Almost makes me want to see just how much of an effect Manny has had on “The Stink.” Can you imagine if The Stink transformed back into Andruw Jones and Furcal came back, what the Dodger lineup would look like? Allow me to indulge assuming this were to occur after the Sept 1st expansion to 40 man rosters.

1) Furcal SS
2) Martin C
3) Kemp RF
4) Manny LF
5) Jones CF
6) Loney 1B
7) Kent 2B
8) Blake 3B

On the bench, Nomar, Pierre, Ethier, DeWitt, Young, Sweeney, Ardoin, Berroa, Ozuna, Hu, Repko. What a bench. One of the best lineups in baseball. All possible only if Furcal can make a miraculous recovery and if The Stink no longer stunk and did what he was supposed to do.

Some thoughts around the league:

They say that the Orioles are shopping their 30 save closer, George Sherrill. I don’t get it. The non-waiver deadline is over. He’s too good. I’m not sure I really understand the August 31st waiver trading deadline. Unlike the non-waiver trading period in which clubs can just trade pretty much whomever they want for whomever they want, with the waiver deadline, if you want to trade a guy, you can only complete the trade by putting him on waivers and hoping no one claims him off the wire. So, how can a guy like Sherrill, with so many teams looking for bullpen help, possibly make it through the waiver wire without someone grabbing him up?

Evidently my look-alike, Brian Giles, has been put on waivers and picked up by Boston. With hat or helmet on, he looks like my twin, except he’s a little thicker than I am and slightly younger. As much as I despise them, I’d look good in a Boston uniform.

Joba Chamberlain on the DL. The Yanks have their work cut out for them. I wouldn’t count them out, however. Detroit, on the other hand, has got to win the Underachievers of the Year Award in professional sports. With the acquisitions they made in the off season and the lineup and pitching staff they assembled, how could they possibly be under .500 and 81/2 games out in August?? I had ‘em winning it all. Shows how much I know about this game.

The Dodgers lost a chance to gain a game and a half in a 2 day period after the Snakes nearly had a perfecto thrown at them by rookie hurler Jeff Karstens, acquired from the Yanks in the Nady deal a couple of weeks ago. They got the half game back today, but still trail the DBacks by 2. They need a sweep in the City by the Bay. I’ll take 2 out of 3, but they really need a sweep.

Have I mentioned Manny Ramirez is great?

It's Giveth And Taketh

Quite a game tonight. It sure is exciting having Manny in the lineup, but they’re now 21/2 back of the Snakes. Couldn’t believe they came back from a 4-0 deficit in the 9th, of course, only to lose in the 11th. What a great 0-2 pitch to Pujols by Jason Johnson and what an awful, awful, awful pitch to Ryan Ludwick by Johnson. Why give him a chance to beat you? He’s an MVP candidate. In fact, if the season ends today, who besides Ryan Ludwick do you give the NL MVP to? Ryan Braun? Hanley Ramirez? Chase Utley? Lance Berkman? Chipper? Soriano? Wright? Ludwick’s numbers are up there with the best of them. Better than most. Without him, the Cards are done.

The Redbirds have that 1-2 punch of Pujols and Ludwick. The Dodgers have that 1-2 punch of Manny and a double play. James Loney has got to be more selective and stop grounding into so many DP’s.

You win as a team and you lose as a team, but if I had to place blame for the loss tonight, I’d place it on the shoulders of 3 guys. God, Torre & Martin. God caused the 2nd rain delay that knocked Chad Billingsley out of the game. Thanks a lot, God.

But, Joe, why are you using Brian Falkenborg following the rain delay? It’s like having Chevy Chase out there against one of the better hitting teams in the NL in a pennant race. Why are you relying on a guy like Falkenborg at this point in the season? I swear, he looks like Fletch out there on the mound. Or Maxwell Smart. Or my accountant. He loads the bases and sets up the Beimel 0-2 pitch into the tush of Ankiel. Nice pitch, Beimel. Falkenborg is not a big leaguer. Please make him go away.

Not to minimize the awesome effects of God and Joe Torre, the main blame goes to All Star, Russell Martin. Martin giveth and he taketh away. Lately, however, he’s been takething away a lot more than he’s been givething. What the hell is the matter with him lately? His 2 strikeouts on awful pitches – one on ball 4 – took the wind out of their sails. TAKE SOME FREAKING PITCHES, Russell! You need to get on base, you shmuck. You got Manny hitting behind you. The last K just killed them. It was a 2-2 pitch in the dirt with one out in the 10th and runners on the corners. They intentionally walk Manny (it’s weird that the Dodgers actually have someone now that could be intentionally walked) and Loney lines out. Torre has got to take Russell out of the 3 hole. He’s terrible there. If you must have a right handed hitter in front of Manny, then your man is Casy Blake right now. Bat Martin second. Bat Martin second. Bat Martin second. There, I said it 3 times. The power of suggestion.

Some thoughts:

* Should we be worried about Stink’s pinch hit HR in the 9th? Does this mean Joe’s gonna start him tomorrow? I’m worried. Funny thing is, Stink actually looked like the old Andruw Jones on that swing.

* If Charlie Steiner would talk less, he’d make fewer mistakes and it would also make the viewing more pleasurable for the fans. Hey, Charlie, how about a little dead air? Please? I hate having to wear Hearos during the game.

* Speaking of silent announcers, condolences to the Carey family. Harry's son, Skip Carey brought National League baseball into our homes via the Braves and TBS since the early 80's. Though he was a homer, I appreciated his knowledge of the game and his humor. He was a class act and he'll be missed.

* The Dodgers have GOT to win these next 2 games. They have a tough schedule and the DBacks have an easy one. They can’t let themselves get too far behind. The Cardinals are a very beatable team. They have no bullpen.

* I want to give a shout out to KFWB sportscaster, Bret Lewis. Bret emailed me the other day to tell me he’s been enjoying this blog and I feel quite honored. For you Angelinos, you may remember the gentleman Texan (and Longhorn) was the sports anchor for local Channel 2 News. He also played a sports reporter in that memorable DeNiro/Snipes film, The Fan. Bret is knowledgeable, witty, clever and an all around nice guy. His quotes and quips often show up in the Morning Briefing of the LA Times sports sections. As far as I’m concerned, he should be a top dog at ESPN or Fox Sports, but he seems happy where he is. Thanks for all your good work, Bret. Any chance you could take over for Steiner?

My Nose Is Bigger Today. It's Worth It.

It was a Monday morning softball game. My friend who owns a club where I sometimes do comedy organized it for other comics, writers, actors, food service people who work evenings. It’s a nice thing to look forward to on a Monday. Dulls some of the edge of the new week anxiety.

So, there I was, playing shortstop, trying to prevent a routine grounder from getting through. On the balls of my feet, my butt down, my head down, my hands out, and WHAM! A wild hop and I blog this afternoon with a nose three times its normal size. It’s the 3rd time I broke this appendage and the 2nd baseball related time. Needless to say, there was a lot of blood.

I feel stupid and embarrassed. Not because of the bad hop, but more because I’m in my 40’s. What am I doing playing softball on a Monday morning anyway? Then on the bloody drive home, I thought about it. Because it’s like baseball. And I’m a ballplayer. And I miss it. I miss the summers and the playing on three different teams. I miss the ball coming to me. I miss it all.

It was the early 80’s. I played at UCLA but didn’t make the team my first 3 years. I was persistent. During the summers I played on semipro teams, rookie league teams and college summer teams. I’d have a game almost every night, a game on Saturday and doubleheaders on Sunday. I lived for it. It was my life force. Sometimes, we’d spend the whole day at the beach, body surf, lay out in the sun, go home, change into our uniforms and drive to the game, sometimes for over an hour depending on where it was. There was no such thing as “tired.” Just excitement and anticipation. Just baseball and summer. When I wasn’t playing in a game, I was at the cages or I was watching the Dodgers. In spite of his throwing woes, I idolized Steve Sax and my favorite player was Ryne Sandberg. I loved getting dirty and I wore my injuries like a badge of honor. One time we were playing a well-known semipro team – the Pasadena Redbirds out at Brookside Park. I was playing a deep second base and some lefty who had just gotten his walking papers from the Angels comes up and hits a smash right at me. I knew I was gonna have to short hop it. It took a bad hop and socked me in the eye. I was dazed for a while, but I stayed in the game and showed up to my Brentwood restaurant cashier’s job in my coat and tie that night with one hell of a shiner. Who cared? Not me. I was a ballplayer.

One time I was playing for a team we called the West LA Angels out at our home field at Clover Park in Santa Monica. I was playing short, there was a lefty at the plate, runner on first, my buddy, Howard Cott on the mound, my roommate and baseball mentor, Dave Anderson, behind the dish. The guy steals, Dave throws me a strike. I put my head down in the tag. He’s out from me to you, but he does some crazy rolling pop-up slide and his forehead hits the base of my nose as he comes up, sending me flying 5 feet in the air and accordioning my proboscis. I land on my ass in a puddle of blood, shake myself, get back up and say, “I’m okay. Let’s play.” Our second baseman, Eunice Grant walks up to me and says, “I don’t think so, Freeman. Your nose. It’s going in three different directions.” We look over at the guy who slid into me. He’s out like a light. His helmet flew off on the steal attempt and he was unconscious. Taken away in an ambulance. Never found out what happened to him. As for me, I had to have surgery as soon as the swelling went down. The doc who put my nose back together tried to impress me by numbing it with “the purest stuff you’ve ever had.” I didn’t know what he was talking about until he explained to me that it was surgical cocaine. I told him I didn’t partake. I was a ballplayer, not a coke head.

I like to refer to my summer ball as “semipro” ball. I hate when people call them “beer leagues.” First of all, I don’t recall having had one beer before or after a game. Secondly, I played with some pretty damn good ballplayers. On one team in the late 80’s, we had 7 guys who played in the minors, 2 of whom made it to the bigs. Damon Farmar, dad to the Laker’s Jordan Farmar, played for the Cubs and the A’s. Rodney Crash McCray, most famous for literally running THROUGH the fence while playing with the White Sox Triple A affiliate in Vancouver, beat the Dodgers once with a pinch hit single in extra innings while playing for the Mets. Dejon Watson was a hell of a hitter and is now the Dodgers assistant GM. I’ve played with and against Eric Davis, Daryl Strawberry, Bret Saberhagen, Chili Davis, Matt Young, Rich Amaral, Shane Mack, the list is endless. They were all much better than I, but their love for the game could not possibly have been greater than mine.

It was summertime. The Dodgers were winning. I was playing baseball every day, so I was winning. It was worth the occasional breaks and bruises. It will always be.

Ah, Vinny, We're In Clover

Well, after listening to my friends at brunch suggest that I should take some responsibility for my failed financial life and find a job, I had the pleasure of coming home and watching a solid 3 and a half hours of the “new Dodgers” and Vin Scully was in vintage form.

Not only has Manny’s arrival had a crazy positive affect on the team and the fans, (they even got a decent outing from Hiroki Kuroda) but even Vinny seems reenergized. “If Martin reaches base and Manny comes up with runners on first and second, the Dodgers will be in clover.” Clover. Martin in fact, did reach base and Manny singled in the run. Yes, the Dodgers suddenly find themselves in clover. So much for ceding dominance to the Snakes. The Dodgers and, dare I say, Ned Colletti have taken that dominance right back. They did what they needed to do. (Never thought I’d say that much this year) They came back after dropping the first 2 to Arizona and picked up 2 must win games in a row to remain just one game back. But more that that, the Dodgers, over the course of a week, have transformed from a poor to mediocre team to a good team and perhaps, even a contender. The acquisitions of Manny Ramirez and Casey Blake and the emergence of Hong Chi Kuo as a force to be reckoned with have changed the way other teams must view and play the Dodgers.

I don’t mean to sound giddy, but after one weekend, I can say without hesitation that the Dodgers have never had an offensive force like Manny Ramirez. Great hitters like Snyder, Hodges, Garvey, Wynn, Smith, Guerrero, Gibson, Strawberry, Murray, Piazza (he comes the closest) and Sheffield are not quite at the same plateau that Manny is on. His mere presence at home plate spells serious trouble for opposing pitchers. Balls jump off his Manny bat like they were shot out of shoulder fired missiles by some crazy jiahdist. He’s not some joker off the island who just swings and swings. He’s a smart hitter. Thanks to Manny, they made mince meat out of the Slitherers today and even Matt Kemp chimed in with a couple of singles and a dong.

I must say, I can’t remember when I’ve seen a guy who dismantles Dodger pitching more than Stephen Drew.

Questions:

1) Why on earth does Joe Torre have Russell Martin batting 3rd? Against left handers, Kemp should bat 3rd and against right handers, Loney should bat third. Pierre should lead off, Martin should bat 2nd, Loney 3rd, Manny 4th, Kemp 5th, Blake 6th, Kent 7th, Berroa 8th. There's no Big Papi, but that’s a tough lineup. Against lefties it should be Pierre, Martin, Kemp, Manny, Blake, Loney, Kent and Berroa. When the personification of “Injury” gets back, the lineup will be even more potent.

2) Why does Torre think Jason Johnson is a better choice for the rotation than Chan Ho Park? Until an EFFECTIVE Brad Penny returns, (which may well not happen) Chan Ho should be back in the starting rotation and Jason Johnson should be used as the long man.

3) Who should play between Pierre and Ethier? Tough one. Overall, Ethier is the better ballplayer, but I think, at this point in their careers, Pierre is going to make more things happen. Ethier should get a couple of starts per week.

4) Was LA Times baseball writer, Bill Shaikin right when, in today’s Times, he said that the Dodgers should insist that Andruw Jones go down to the minors to straighten out his swing and try to prepare himself for next season? A no brainer. For at least a month, he should go down. He’s hitting .161 with 2 Hrs and 13 RBIs for crap’s sake.

5) Why does Jeff Kent pop up so much lately? I don’t know if you read his My Space page, but under hobbies, he lists motorcycles, hunting, fishing, skiing, hanging out with his kids and popping up.

Unfortunately, the Dodgers, still a game out in the West, now have to go to St. Louis for 3 games while the Snakes get to host the lowly Pirates with Haren and Webb going in 2 of the games. The Cardinals have owned the Dodgers for more than a decade. Their only hope is that their new Manny thing they have going changes everything, including their history.

In Manny, here’s a guy who was criticized constantly for his selfishness and lack of heart, was allegedly dogging it on purpose in Boston, was virtually and unanimously voted off the team and he comes here and we experience quite the opposite. It’s as if we received a much needed heart transplant. It’s like something lifeless has been reanimated. Just what the mad doctor ordered. We’re in clover.