Bad News Bores

(YAWWWNN!) After suffering through another dismal Dodgers/Angels series in which the Blue managed to get one lousy victory in the last game, I've realized just how boring this Dodger team is. The grieving Furcal has shown signs of life, but this team has no exciting players, unless, of course, you enjoy wondering if Matt Kemp will catch a routine fly ball or, god forbid, he needs to run and catch at the same time, like he tried and failed to do last night. Ethier, who's power has diminished mightily since his pinky injury, is the only regular hitting over .300. I try to stay awake when Casey Blake and Russell Martin step up to the plate, but watching them makes me feel like I just ate half a turkey and downed a jug of red wine. James Loney puts me to sleep just watching him take his stance. In fact, I think Loney, himself, looks like he's about to nod off. Blake DeWitt is a smart hitter and fun to watch sometimes, but he's so methodical, I can leave the room, make a sandwich and come back and he'll still be up there. Manny Ramirez, since his hormones have hit below normal levels, is no fun at all anymore and Matt Kemp has an 0-2 count before he leaves the batter's box. If he doesn't get a hanger in the zone, I guess it's kind of interesting to see how he'll react to the next strikeout. And to see when Rianna is gonna dump him. All you have to do is say "Garret Anderson" and I'm already bored. Reed Johnson doesn't do much for me either, but he might if he got to play more. A.J. Ellis should probably be their starting catcher, but he's so boring, Torre doesn't even know he's on the bench. I guess my vote for most exciting Dodger hitter is a tie between Ronnie Belliard and Jamie Carroll. They usually get hits and they make things happen. Too bad Belliard never gets to play. As far as pitching, let's face it, this ain't no Padres staff. We know what we're gonna get from our 2 healthy starters and it's kind of boring. Kershaw will walk 2 guys in the 6th or 7th, get yanked and hope to get the win. Kuroda will bring his "A" game most of the time, but the boring offense won't score for him. Ely's been fun to watch and Billingsley's kinda fun because you never know when he'll implode and give up a huge inning. You know Troncos-ohno!, Belli-sorry-o, and Sherrill are going to give up the runs they inherited, so there are no surprises there. (Of all the guys the Dodgers have acquired with girls' first names for last names - Mark Loretta, Jamie Carroll and George Sherrill, I gotta give Carroll the nod)

I guess it's kind of exciting to watch a team run themselves out of a game like they did the other night. If Joe Torre actually cared, Matt Kemp and Russell Martin would've been riding the pine last night after that debacle, but not so much. A player's manager, through and through, the lassez-faire Torre put 'em right back in there. (Yeah, I'm sure that "tongue lashing" Torre gave them was real severe. Maybe he said "darn" a couple of times with his arm around Kemp's shoulder) Then, last night, Carroll starts sashaying off second base because he figures he was out when he was called safe. There are bad Little League teams that have better base running skills than the Dodgers. They play like they just don't care. So much so, I think the Dodger Stadium PA system should play "If Everyone Cared" by Nickelback just to send a message.

The Dodgers are on the precipice of a disaster. The Mighty Pins hit town tonight and I think the Dodgers should, by all intents and purposes, get swept. They may not, but the way they're playing, only if the Yanks take a game off. Sure, they won last night, but all teams win once in a while. Sure, it's only June, it's a long season and the Dads haven't proven themselves and don't seem capable of running away with it. But, as we approach the All-Star break, the Dodgers, from a personnel standpoint (including pitching staff) and from a performance standpoint, are not as good as the Giants, Rockies and Padres. Their offense isn't what it was cracked up to be. Sure, Casey Blake will blow hot and cold again before the season concludes and Loney will hit a couple more home runs. Sure Matt Kemp may have another hot streak, and Andre may even repeat what he did last season. But without a solid pitching staff, this offense cannot do enough. Kemp is not merely slumping. He has proven himself to be a bad baseball player. Casey Blake has 29 RBIs in late June. Terrible for a supposed power guy in a corner infield position who strikes out as much as he does. (How is it Torre doesn't ask Blake to bunt with no outs and runners on 1st and 2nd in the 9th with the team down 2-1, I have no idea. And if Blake can't bunt, get a guy up there who can.) Bill Shaikin thinks Pedro may be the answer, but they need more than just Pedro. If they want to win more than just the division, they need a starting staff of Lee or Oswalt or Haren, Kershaw, Pedro, Kuroda and Billingsley. That, in my opinion, is the only way to counteract their lack of offense and lack of a decent bullpen. (Save Kuo, Weaver and Broxton, they're awful)

It ultimately comes down to management. When management doesn't care, why should the team? Love Joe Torre, but he's mailing it in. McCourt cares about just a few guys: Washington, Lincoln, Hamilton, Jackson, Grant and Franklin. Mostly Franklin. Colletti, I've decided, financially restricted or not, is a buffoon. Look for him to try to acquire insufficient options like a Brian Bannister from KC or a Brett Myers from Houston. Can he "de-buffoon" himself in my eyes come the trading deadline? Probably not, but it'll be reeeal exciting to find out. Yawwwwwn...