Evils Has Left the Building!

As if a good fairy from a 60's Jay Ward cartoon flitted down and waved her star-shaped wand on Dodger fans everywhere, the Dodgers have been miraculously delivered from bondage from their ogre of an owner. The pointy-hatted sprite in question, Bud Selig, also seems to have sprinkled the Dodgers, themselves, with a mojo-packed pixie dust, evidenced by their 3 victories in as many days since the Selig Extermination Company came to the house. Ethier's 19 game hitting streak, Kemp's walk-off heroics and the re-emergence of veterans Uribe and Blake, along with stellar performances from Garland, Kershaw and Billingsley have made recently liberated Dodger fans actually wonder about the possibilities for not only 2012 and beyond, but for 2011. This is a good thing. Not that I'll go as far as to predict the team will finish higher than 3rd or 4th this year, but their chances of doing so have certainly been raised exponentially by the infusion of Selig's grace upon them. I would also continue to encourage fans to stay away from the ballpark until McCourt's office is cleared out and his ownership is entirely ceased to be. After all, we don't want to put any money in the bad man's coffers if we can help it.

Now to the shutting up part: Steve Soboroff, please shut up. You are an idiot. A rich idiot, granted, but an idiot nonetheless. You were stupid to accept the job as "Whatever, Whatever President of Whatever Dodger Operations" in the first place and now you're ranting about how unfair the Commish is being to your beloved new employer of all of a couple of days. Steve, you want to know why Selig is treating the cash-strapped Mets one way and the cash-strapped Dodgers another way? Because the Mets aren't run by douchebags, and the Dodgers are, that's why. Selig will never come out and say it, but plainly and simply, that's the reason. The Mets owners are being assisted by MLB because they were victimized by Bernie Maddoff and his Ponzi scheme. The McCourts ARE the Maddoffs and the Ponzis. Might I suggest, Soboroff, you jackass, that since you're going to have a lot of time on your hands, why not take a poll of Dodger fans who want the McCourts to remain the owners of the Dodgers? Hold on... Let's just find out what the population of LA County is... Ok, got it. You'll find the total will be 9,818, 599 - 6. So, that's 9 million, eight hundred and eighteen thousand, five hundred and ninety-nine people who want both McCourts to go, to six people- you, Josh Rawitch, Jamie and Frank and their undeserving sons. So, Steve, please, for your own good, just shut the hell up and go away.

And as far as the McCourts, don't you think it's time to take the hint? I'll quote the brilliant Dr. Seuss from "Marvin K. Mooney, Will You Please Go Now?" ...

The time has come
The time is now
Just go.
Go.
GO!
I don't care how.

Frank & Jamie McCourt,
Will you please go now?

You can go on stilts.
You can go by fish.
You can go
in a Crunk-Car
if you wish.

Frank & Jamie McCourt
Will you please go now?

This is fun. Yes, McCourt, that litigious ass, will surely sue MLB and the Commissioner's office and he'll lose miserably while spending more money he no longer has. (This is if he doesn't wind up in jail) Meanwhile, Dodger fans can eagerly look forward to new ownership - god willing, ownership with a memory and a heart and, oh yeah... some cash. This is a good thing... to love the Dodgers again.

Ding Ding! An Angel Gets His Wings! Hostage Crisis Over! ...Now What...?

Our prayers have been heard, (or, perhaps, read,) and finally answered. Ding ding! The bell has rung and Bud Selig has played the part of the winged angel, just like I begged for two blogs ago. No more Frank McCourt! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead! No more Jamie McCourt! The hostage-takers have been vanquished. Gilligan, the Skipper and the other castaways have finally gotten off the island. And any other metaphors you can come up with for the liberation of our beloved Blue after more than 7 years in the evil clutches of the McCourts.

As my witty friend, local KFWB sportscaster, Bret Lewis says, "You know you're in bad shape when Bud Selig is an upgrade." That's how bad things have been. As of today, the Los Angeles Dodgers Major League Baseball Club and all their affiliates and holdings have been taken away from the McCourts and will be in the control of Major League Baseball and an appointee brought in by Selig in a few days. Why did Selig do this? What comes to mind initially is he finally felt the need to right the wrong he perpetrated on LA fans in 2004 when he allowed the highly leveraged sale of the team to the McCourts to take place in the first place. McCourt was hardly responsible for the Dodgers division win in 2004 and and 2006. What he was responsible for was not acquiring the players they needed to get further in the Playoffs those years. He just didn't care. He wanted to keep fans in the seats and stay just competitive enough. In 2008, he acquired a steroid-enhanced Manny Ramirez for free. Manny took the team from 3rd to first and led them past the Cubs in the first round. McCourt made a fortune off Ramirez, so he ponied up for the next two years. The team had just enough Manny, in spite of his long suspension, to win the West again and, frankly, got a little lucky in the NLDS in getting by St Louis. (Holliday's dropped line drive helped immensely) However, had McCourt cared enough to acquire someone like a Cliff Lee or any of the other available players prior to the deadline, the Blue may have had what it took to overcome Philly. But McCourt didn't care. And it's since come out in his divorce that, all this time, he's been cheating the team and the fans, using the profits for his own luxuries and personal needs and letting the team go to hell. Now, it's going to come out that there may have been serious tax violations and we know there's an investigation regarding his paying a $400,000 salary to a guy who was running a charity. With the beating up of a Giants fan on opening day, thus shedding light on the fact that McCourt made major cuts in stadium security and with McCourt having to take out a $30 million loan from Fox just to meet payroll this month, Selig finally had enough. Selig did the right thing. The long and short of it: Frank McCourt and his wife were awful owners and I question their character as human beings.

And as my other witty friend, Bob Brody - a lifetime Dodgers fan who's always looking for the positive, even when there is none - directs the following to Frank McCourt, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out." I couldn't agree more, Brody. Don't let the goddamn door hit your sorry ass criminal asses on the way out. In fact, Frank, if you don't end up in prison for your questionable business practices and tax issues, please take your sons, your whole kit and kaboodle - that's right, I said "kit and kaboodle" - and get out of town. Go back to Boston. Go anywhere. Ya just gotta get da the hell outta here! Your days of destroying our Dodgers and their once brilliant reputation are over. Go away.


Now, what about the Dodgers? Fans, feel free to come back to the ballpark... as soon as there's a new owner and you're no longer enriching the McCourts. In the meantime, the Allies have landed, they just have to get the armistice signed. Don't get too excited yet. The team will likely continue to stink. With Selig and MLB running the team, it's doubtful anyone's going to let Colletti go shopping for any big names by the deadline, although, there is precedent of the opposite happening. See Texas Rangers circa 2010. Also, there's a chance Dennis Gilbert or Tony Attanasio or one of the other interested parties, may buy the team before the season is over and changes could be made quickly. Should be interesting. Hopefully, MLB doesn't institute a fire sale and we can hang on to Kershaw and "Kethier." Beyond those two guys, with the exception of possibly Billingsley, I don't care who they lose. There is hope, once again, in the Ravine. Maybe not for this year, but, depending on who our new owner is, perhaps for the very near future. Please let it be someone who loves the Dodgers and what they have always meant to the National League, to baseball and to sports. Please let it be someone who loves Los Angeles, preferably, a local, but the O'Malleys weren't from here and they did just fine. Here's hoping maybe, at least for the time being, it could actually BE Mr. OMalley.

Today, George Bailey reached into his pocket... "How about that, Clarence! It's Zuzu's petals!"

Sands in an Hour Glass

Don't get all excited, Dodger fans, just because they haven't lost all their games and just because they're not yet mathematically eliminated. Thus far, the first few weeks of the 2011 season has been a microcosm of what the entire season should be. The Rockies, energized by great pitching from Jhoulys Chacin and Esmil Rogers and, of course, the two-headed monster, Tulo & Cargo, and offensive support from Old Man Helton and Seth Smith, are rolling. The Giants will certainly be there - I think atop the West by summer if not sooner - but the Rockies should be right there with them. Meanwhile, the Dads and Blue should trade off 3rd & 4th place, but I kind of like what this blog's namesake is doing with the Snakes. I guess what I'm saying is, I wouldn't be surprised if the Dodgers finished last in the NL West.

True Dodger fans have got to love that my "Boycott the Dodgers Til the Bad Man Leaves" campaign appears to be working. Attendance is way, way down. If Selig doesn't approve this huge deal with Fox for new cable TV rights, it's bye-bye, assholes. (McCourts) If Selig approves it, we're stuck with the demons indefinitely.

So, where's the hope? Where's the proverbial glow at the end of the tunnel right before the 110 North meets the 5? Well, the only offense the team can lay claim to has been their own version of a two-headed monster. Kemp and Ethier or "Kethier" as I call them - have been amazing! Better than I had hoped, though Ethier, in spite of his awesome 15 game hitting streak, has yet to show any of his impressive power, but that should come. Tony Gwynn and Jamey Carroll have been great role players and have done everything Donnie Baseball has asked of them to do. Kershaw has been his usual very good but inconsistent self. Kuroda started strong but will fall back into being a little better than average. Billingsley and Lilly have each had one good start. Whee! Otherwise, this team has been awful. Juan Uribe is terrible. Marcus Thames is a joke. James Loney looks like he's ready to retire... or fall asleep... or put ME to sleep. Casey Blake SHOULD retire. Furcal is... hurt again. What a shocker. The bullpen, especially Broxton, has been crap. (Guerrier's been ok) So, again, where's the hope? Well, the hope arrived yesterday from Albuquerque in the form of Jerry Sands, their phenom performer from spring training. The team needed to call him up early. To energize the offense? Perhaps for awhile, until the league gets used to him. The real reason for his early call-up was to try to fill some seats. Like I said, attendance is down and Dodger fans throughout the years have loved unexpectedly big, hopeful rookie call-ups in the beginning of, or early on in the season. Pedro, Sax, Fernando, Piazza, Russell Martin, Loney and Kemp when they first came up, all of whom each had an energizing effect on the crowds. Even soon-to-be nobodies like Matt Luke made an impact for awhile. Fans love these young hopefuls and tend to come through the turnstiles in high numbers to see them, at least until the shine wears off. I like Jerry Sands and I think he could end up being the real deal. I think he needs another year in the minors, but I agree with calling him up now. It could end up backfiring, though. If Sands starts struggling, it could hurt his confidence unnecessarily. They had no money to spend on veteran free agents and probably won't be in the market for anyone before the trade deadline, so why not see what he can do? We'll see what happens. Still, I think Mattingly, who has been doing about the job I thought he'd be doing at this point - some good moves some terrible rookie moves like leaving guys in too long - would be better served by having Sands play third over Blake or first over Loney. Leave Gwynn alone and just let him play everyday. And forget about the Marcus Thames/Jay "Blind Man" Gibbons experiment. And why won't Donnie B move Gwynn to center and Kemp to left? Or better yet, Kemp to right and Ethier to left? Guess he doesn't want to screw with Kemp's fragile ego. You saw what Ned Colletti's comments did to his performance last year.

So, as the hour glass fills, so should Jerry Sands perhaps fill his lofty potential. Only time will tell.

Pottersville in the Ravine

It's been over a week since opening day and the horrific incident in which a Giants fan was beaten half to death in the Dodger Stadium parking lot. Forget about the team and their performance, this is more important and I'm finally chiming in. Ya hear that, Clarence? Whenever a bell rings an angel gets his wings. Except it may just be too late. Mike Scioscia and Mickey Hatcher don their wings in a different Heaven and there may be only one or two cherubim left that can help to restore our beloved home.

Dodger Stadium, imbued for decades with the stuff of wholesome Americana, a happy, secure place with a small town feel, the green and white jewel set amidst a teeming megalopolis - our own little Bedford Falls of baseball - has become Pottersville. George Bailey long ago sold out to the evil Potter. No more Building and Loan, no more security, no longer a place to cherish. It began in 1998 when the venerable Peter O'Malley couldn't get his football stadium and had to sell to Fox. The door was opened for the greedy and the corrupt and, let's face it, Frank McCourt does Potter as well as, if not better than, Lionel Barrymore. Certainly no less subtle. All that's missing is the wheelchair. And so, like George Bailey's living nightmare, Dodger Stadium has given way to the excessive, the violent and the immoral. The friendliness has left the building. There's more drinking. There are more fights in the stands. There are commercials everywhere. Prices are sky high, except for the bleachers where they've been made barely affordable to the less fortunate. Except now the less fortunate are the poor souls who have to sit in those stands with the gangbangers and the drunks. The security? Evidently the stadium is now patrolled by the same Latino gangs that claim territories around the ballpark and in areas throughout the Southland. This is not a racist comment. I'm not making a slur about Latinos. I'm making a statement about gangs. And if anyone thinks for a minute that this Giants fan wasn't beaten up by two "cholo" gangbangers, then they're simply delusional. Instead of discouraging this element from coming to the ballpark, the evil McCourt entices them. He feeds them free-flowing beer in his bleachers and markets his gear to their sensibilities and tastes. He allows them to use his stadium as their turf and even encourages a turf mentality among them by quietly condoning their behavior. This has been a growing problem for years, but McCourt, in the true spirit of Mr. Potter, has turned a blind eye for the sake of the almighty dollar. That dollar that he uses to buy houses and cars for himself rather than put back into the team.

For a minute, Potter almost fools George Bailey into thinking he's not so bad after all. Our Potter brought over Manny Ramirez and we thought it was a gift. Turns out, not so much. "The Devil hath power to assume a pleasing shape" and so did Manny for exactly half a season. McCourt knew what he was getting but it brought him dollars. "Mannywood" became Nick's Bar and the PED's flowed as freely as the beer. "Hey, look, mister. We serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don't need any characters around to give the joint atmosphere, is that clear?" Sound familiar? Potter doesn't care about Bedford Falls and its citizens and McCourt doesn't care about the Dodgers or their fans. His first comment was his truest comment after the beating on Opening Day: "... let me just say it's tragic," the evil man said, "It's very, very unfair to take what was otherwise a fantastic day — everything from the weather to the result of the game to just the overall experience — and to have a few individuals mar that. It's a terrible thing." Can't you just hear Barrymore delivering that line? And who is the spokesman for this nightmare? None other than McCourt lackey, Josh Rawitch. He's the Smithers to McCourt's Burns. He may just be doing his job but we're all so tired of hearing him spew out the Potter rhetoric and the weak excuses and the terse dismissals to rightly inquiring reporters. If he was smart, he'd leave his position before his reputation is permanently tarnished.

It used to be a Giants fan could wear his team's gear and he'd practically be welcomed with open arms. Not anymore. This is a horrible place run by a horrible man and the only person who can help us is the Commissioner of Baseball, himself, Bud Selig. In order to stop Potter, Selig must not flinch, he must not blink. He must stare him in the face and say, "no." Lawsuit? Let him try it. Every fan in LA will come to Bud's defense. We want some modicum of our unique class and humility back. The class and humility that once made the Dodgers a great organization and what made us an enviable community. We want our Bedford Falls back. And we want our team back. We need an owner like George Bailey, like Peter O'Malley. In the meantime, whenever we believe we may have finally awakened from our nightmare, we all reach into our pockets only to find that Zuzu's petals are not there.